He blinks at me, stunned for half a second. “You wouldn't.”
“I so would.”
A low rumble of thunder rolls overhead, and then the rain starts. It's light at first, a cold drizzle that quickly soaks into everything, including us.
“Tell me the truth. You did this to get back at her.”
Something in me snaps.
I’m done.
Done being accused, and done having this twisted into something ugly and small. Done with him acting like he doesn't know me at all.
Before I can second-guess it, I launch at him.
We go down hard, feet slipping in the mud as I tackle him, both of us hitting the ground in a messy sprawl.
“You're insane,” he grunts, trying to push me off.
I grab his arms, pinning him before he can get any leverage, rain soaking through my clothes, hair sticking to my face.
“No,” I fire back, breathless and furious. “I’m pissed off.”
Thunder cracks overhead, louder now, the rain coming down harder.
“Do you actually hear yourself?” I demand. “Do you really think I'd do something like this just for revenge? That it's some stupid fling?”
His fighting stills, and I know he wasn't putting everything into it because I would be the one on my back.
His green eyes bore into mine, glassy and rimmed red, rain mixing with the tears he's clearly trying to hide. There's mud smeared across his cheek.
I can't back down, though.
“I’m not with him for the reasons you keep twisting it into. You don't have to like it, River. I get why you don't." I swallow. “Please don't cheapen it. Don't turn it into something it's not because you're angry.”
I wouldn't put it past Rose for planting half of this in his head.
We’re both breathing hard, the kind that scrapes your lungs raw. My heart's beating so loud it drowns out everything else.
“Why him?” he asks, voice cracking. “Why you?”
Just like that, the fight drains out of him.
My shoulders sink a little, the anger loosening its grip.
“Because he was there at a time when I needed someone and he didn't walk away.” I shake my head. “I didn't plan on it, Riv. I didn't want it to happen.” A weak, almost self-deprecating huff escapes me. “Trust me, if I could've picked a less complicated option, I would’ve.”
I really wouldn't.
Obviously, it would have been easier, less complicated, but there's no way I would trade him for anything. I’d honestly do it all over again to be loved by him.
I drag a hand under my eye, stubbornly swiping away the tears before they can properly fall, sitting on his legs as I let him push himself upright.
“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. That was never the plan, and I know it will be weird for you. I’m not an idiot, and we're not expecting you to just be okay with it overnight or even at all right now. I just… I can't let him go. I was so close to giving everything up,” I admit shamefully. “He didn't let me, though. He just showed up, over and over, until I didn't feel like I was drowning all the time.”
A shaky breath leaves me.
“And somewhere in all of that, I fell for him.” I hold his gaze, even when it burns. “I can't lose him, Riv. I genuinely think it would break me. But that doesn't mean I’m willing to lose youeither. I love you so much, God. You're my little brother, and you're so important to me. You always have been.”
