Then the three of them walked away, leaving the two of us alone.
Alar took both my hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing my knuckles.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too." My voice held. I was proud of that. "Write to me."
"Every day."
"Be safe."
"I will." He pulled me into a crushing hug. "Try not to dream of me."
I chuckled through tears. "I'll try to dream only good things about you."
20
ALAR
I came to Elucia under false pretenses, hoping to gain knowledge, immortality, and perhaps even a dragon alliance to save the future of my people. I'm leaving it as a rider and a man in love. The irony is not lost on me. I spent months pretending to be someone I wasn't, and in the process became someone I actually wanted to be. Now I'm being dragged back to the life I had escaped.
—From the private journals of Prince Alaranthus Tekumuton the Fifth
The stairwell to the roof had never felt so arduous despite having to climb only three floors from the officers' floor, and it wasn't because my rucksack was heavy.
The emotional heaviness was worse than the physical.
Each step was a countdown, each landing was another piece of the Citadel that I was leaving behind, another layer of the life I'd built here peeling away.
My civilian soft leather boots whispered instead of struck. For months, I'd climbed these steps in military-issue footwear, the hard soles striking a rhythm that my mind had learned to associate with purpose. It was another reminder of the difference between the life I was leaving behind and the one I was returning to.
When I reached the roof, the cold morning air carried the scent of snow from the higher peaks. The auroras were still visible, as they always were in Elucia, but they were fading in the growing daylight.
Commander Ravel was there with Onyx and five other dragons, and riders were mounted and ready. Onyx's obsidian scales absorbed the morning light rather than reflecting it, making him look like a hole cut in the fabric of the world.
"Good morning, Alar." Ravel said as he dismounted from Onyx.
He’d seen me earlier, so I assumed he was just being polite, repeating the greeting, and he regarded me with compassion that I didn't want. The only way I was going to survive this day was to turn cold, and compassion or empathy had the power to dissolve the ice I was building around my heart.
"Commander," I said without repeating the greeting. There was nothing good about this morning.
"Give me your pack." He reached for it. "I'll secure it to Onyx's underbelly."
"I can do that." I started toward the dragon.
"No, you can't. Dragons prefer when their bonded riders do it, but you can watch me and practice with Veynathei when you return."
I shrugged off the rucksack and handed it over. "I appreciate your confidence in my return."
He offered me a rare smile. "I trust Saphir. I don't know what he wrote in that letter to your father, but I'm sure it's convincing."
The commander secured the pack to the specialized harness strapped under his dragon. It looked so small against Onyx's massive frame. My entire life in Elucia was reduced to a lump dangling beneath a dragon's belly.
Ravel climbed on Onyx's back and motioned for me to join him.
I didn't forget to ask the dragon's permission before following his rider's instructions, and once permission was granted with a nod of the massive reptilian head, I climbed onto Onyx's back and settled behind Ravel's position.
The dragon's scales were different from Veynathei's, rougher and warmer, like sun-heated stone compared to her smooth crystal. The riding straps were configured for a passenger, wider and more padded than the rider's setup. I buckled in the same way I'd been practicing for months.
