You’re young, you still have a life to live. Go for it, my friend. Dip your toes in the water, you might be surprised how good it feels.
I want to. I really, really want to.
Pushing from the door, I head to the bathroom and do something I haven’t done in... in a very long time. Filling the tub with my favorite lilac bubble bath, I hop in the shower, wash my hair quickly, wrap it in a towel, then sink into the warm tub of scented delight.
The silky feel of the water on my skin is so soothing, the scent so relaxing. I close my eyes as I slide the sudsy loofah over my arms and legs, then over my torso, skimming my nipples. I plump my breasts. I miss being held. The warmth of another body wrapped around mine, the connection to another human.
Teasing the nipple on one breast, I slide my other hand lower, between my legs. I miss being touched... Wanted... Loved... It’s been so long since I... My release is too quick, too anti-climactic, too functional to be truly satisfying.
I want more. I want... I’ve forgotten how to feel loved... or loveable.
I’m in bed staring at the ceiling when he returns. I see his shadow at the door.
“I’m awake, Caleb. Is everything okay?”
“I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Tomorrow, I want to go again in daylight. Will it bother you if I take a shower now?”
“No. I was just going to get up and make some herbal tea. Would you like some?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
When I hear the shower come on, I climb from bed slipping on a light robe. Minutes later, I’m staring out the window when I see his reflection in the glass as he comes up behind me.
He leans forward. “Uhm, you smell good. Like spring.”
“Lilac. My favorite flower. I took a long soak in the tub.”
He leans closer, nuzzling my neck. “You smell so... beautiful. You are so beautiful. So addicting.”
Placing a palm on the arm wrapped around my waist, I realize he’s wearing another long sleeve T-Shirt. “Am I?”
“God yes. I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted a woman before. And I shouldn’t.” He leans closer, kissing below my ear and following a path down my neck. “So beautiful. So perfect.”
Sliding his palms over my shoulder he tugs the robe aside, letting it fall to the floor. Nuzzling the curve between my neck and shoulder, he fingers the spaghetti strap of my satin gown. His hard body is pressed to mine. I feel his arousal lodged between us. He splays one palm over my belly, then he gentlycups a breast with the other. His groan reverberates between us. His hips press ever closer to mine pinning me against the counter.
“Yes,” I moan. “Yes, more.”
“God, Grace, you smell so good, feel so good. You fit me perfectly. I want to lean you over the table right now.”
“Do it. Do it, Caleb.”
Lifting me with one arm around my waist, he pushes the chair aside, slides the gown down my body to pool on the floor and leans me forward. Running his palms from my shoulder to my ass again and again. “So soft, so beautiful, so god damn perfect.”
“Is this your thing, you like being behind?” He stiffens behind me and his hands go still.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t?—”
“Please, please don’t stop. I want you, Caleb. I want you. I want this.”
“I... I started doing this so women wouldn’t feel like they needed to touch me or see...”
“Surely your girlfriends?—”
“There haven’t been girlfriends. There’ve been hook ups with rules and... prostitutes. I always wrap it and I get tested often. I’m clean and was tested two months ago. The truth is, it’s been almost a year.”
My heart goes out to him. He doesn’t even realize his own worth. So thoughtful. “Caleb, your scars don’t bother me.”
Leaning over me from behind, he kisses my neck. “You are so damn perfect. Beautiful. Sweet. Caring. God, Grace I love everything about you.”
