Page 80 of The Song We Lost

They stand there staring at each other, whole conversations happening in silence. Decisions already made without me.

The front door opens, and Noah, Thomas, and Rose step inside. The tension in the room thickens.

What aren’t they telling me?

How bad is it?

“Bailey, it is so nice to have you home,” Rose says softly, stepping beside me.

I don’t take my eyes off Sadie. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Thomas place my bags in the entryway. I feel Noah watching me, helpless.

I want to crawl out of my skin. But I feel frozen in place.

“Sadie…” Cole tries again.

“Don’t,” she snaps, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“She deserved to finish what she started,” she says, voice cracking.

A sound close to a wounded animal escapes Cole. “Seriously? You think she would have forgiven you if she found out later? If she found out too late?”

Too late.

My heart slams hard against my ribs. Sadie closes her eyes. When she opens them, she looks directly at me. There is so much pain in her beautiful brown eyes.

“Bailey, do you want to sit down?”

I shake my head no, locked in place. But she is already moving, slow and careful, into the living room. She lowers herself onto the couch like her body weighs more than it should. She pats the cushion beside her. It takes me a second to get my legs to work, but then I’m sitting beside her.

She takes my hand and her skin is cold.

“Sadie?” I croak out.

Nobody else speaks, but I can feel every pair of eyes on me.

“Bailey,” she says softly, “I love you.”

Why does it sound like she is saying goodbye?

“I am sick.”

Sick.

Sick, I can work with.

Sick people get better.

Sick has treatment plans, recovery charts and timelines.

She squeezes my hand, adding, “I started feeling off after the wedding. We thought it was the pregnancy. But after some tests… we discovered that I am… very sick.”

“How sick?” I croak.

She closes her eyes struggling, so Cole answers. “Sadie has cancer, Bailey.” He swallows hard, before adding, “She’s dying.”

The word dying detonates in my chest.

I want to laugh.