“It’s not me,” I say.
“But it certainly looks like you.” Jordan pushes, looking upset all of a sudden. “How could you?! You know how much I love you. How can you go behind my back like this, Rosy?”
Rosy. That fucker! The only times he called me like that were when he was still courting me and pretending to be that wonderful mate.
“Clemmens saw you, too,” he adds.
Of course he did. Is this the reason he was tailing me today, looking a tad more guilty than usual? “He must have made a mistake,” I say calmly. “From a distance, it’s hard to tell. There are many women looking like me. Also, she looks to be smaller than I am.”
“She has a point,” Elder Arthur mutters.
“No, she doesn’t,” the third man finally says. “It can’t just be an optical illusion. The woman in the picture looks exactly like Luna Rosea.”
“Is this all the proof you have?” I ask. “The woman might look like me, but this is all a little thin for accusing my integrity, don’t you think?”
Elder Arthur nods quietly while Jordan tosses me a seething gaze. “I guess that’s all for today.”
Thank the goddess. I am not sure how much longer I’d have been able to hold my cool in this room. “Thank you, Elders,” I say while standing up. “See you later, Jordan.”
Before I can leave, Jordan grabs me, wordlessly pulling me closer and smashing his lips against mine. To the others, it might look passionate, but I can feel his cold eyes resting on me, my own stomach revolting at his touch. “Wait for me in your room,” he says. “We should make sure to fulfill our duty.”
My chest clenches, my stomach squeezing. It’s only been two days since he came to me and demanded sex. Normally, he only does so once a month, but twice a week… He doesn’t even like me! He has plenty of women on their hands and knees waiting for him.
Why does he need to torment me?
I can’t bring myself to say anything, just nod. With that, he finally lets me go.
Clemmens is still waiting for me outside, apparently, Jordan told him to guard me. I don’t spare him a look, let alone a word. I don’t know if it’s true that he pretended to have seen me with another man or if Jordan just made it up.
But it doesn’t really matter anymore.
three
His Plan
*ROSEA*
It takes an hour for Jordan to seek me out. I don’t know if he does it on purpose because he knows waiting for him is the worst part of any interaction that might lead to something intimate. When he finally opens the door to my room, I don’t even get up from my spot.
“Unbelievable, you are truly here,” he laughs.
“You told me you wanted to see me,” I say shortly.
I don’t know when he started to have his own separate bedroom, but that’s certainly one thing I won’t complain about, even if it means he is bedding all kinds of other women here. But the pain I feel from his betrayal is still worth the peaceful nights on my own.
Now, however, he is so close to my personal space that I feel sick to my stomach. For a moment, neither of us says anything, and I hate how much his presence still scares me. There is this tight ball in my stomach, clenching in fear that he is here now and knowing how unpredictable he is. I thought I had become good at detaching myself from what’s happening around me, from the humiliation of Jordan, the elders, and his ranked members, but also from the mockery and the hatred I feel from the pack. But when we are alone, his presence still terrifies me. It makes it hard for me to stay calm and composed and to not cry in fear.
I want to beg for my life. I want to humiliate myself by begging him to let me go.
Formerly, I begged for his love, but I know he has no love to give.
He has no pity, no love, no empathy for anyone who isn’t himself.
Jordan walks closer to me and like a flash, slaps me so hard it makes me drop to the ground. Before I can scramble to my feet, he is hovering above me, straddling my hips, his hand grabbing my face. He sneers while his thumb rubs the blood running down my nose over my lips.
“That defiant look of yours,” he growls. “I’ve always hated it, even when we met for the first time. You should have been a submissive little wife to me, but you couldn’t even do the most basic thing.”
The funny thing is, I tried being that for him at the beginning, but he is right; I couldn’t. I just couldn’t be the girl who was waiting for him on my hands and knees every day, happy about every word of praise and ready to fulfill all his fantasies.
