“Yeah. You can’t really forget something like that.”
“What I remember most was how everyone treated Mrs. Wagner afterward. The whole region thought she’d gone mad when she decided to burn his body and carry his ashes with her rather than bury him. No one took into consideration how hard it would be for her to stay in Oddian after that. Living in the house they shared, walking down the same path every day that he took to the fields without him by her side.”
I frown as he stares off for a moment. I remember her getting into that carriage to leave with her head held high despite the tears streaming down her face. To me, in my teenage eyes, she looked strong.
“The day she left, I overheard Mom talking about it. She said she thought it was beautiful. Mr. Wagner could go with heranywhere. He could travel the realm alongside her forever. She’d never have to return to Oddian to visit his burial site.”
He turns his watery eyes to me, and a lump forms in my throat.
“That’s what I want for them. I want them to travel alongside Laney and me for the rest of our lives. I know realistically, once our souls leave this realm, our bodies become nothing but empty vessels, but the thought, the idea, brings me comfort. I think it’ll bring Laney peace as well.”
“Lambrit…” I whisper.
“I need you to turn them to ash for me.”
Despite my soul knowing the request was coming, it still hits me in the heart like a Veilatara slamming its hoof through my chest.
My fingers tremble in my lap as I will the tears burning my eyes to go away.
Be strong.
For him. For her.
I blink once, wiping away the stubborn water that falls anyway.
“Okay. W-when.” I clear the stutter from my throat. “When do you want me to do this?”
“As soon as we leave here.”
“Lambrit, but…Laney. What if she wants to see them and say goodbye? You don’t have to rush this. You can take your time. I have a barrier around them. You can—”
He shakes his head at me.
“She woke up minutes after you got off the couch and left. I pulled her to the side and asked her if she wanted to go see them. She asked me what they’d look like, and I told her it’d look like they were sleeping. She said no. She didn’t like the way that image makes her stomach feel. I don’t like the way it makes mine feel either. I’d prefer to remember the smiles on their faces when I stood on that platform in Oddian. I don’t want them just lyingon stone slabs in the healing villa waiting for me to decide what to do.”
My soul shivers and my stomach lurches at the thought of her actually seeing them like that. I didn’t even consider how hard that would be when I first said it. The image would be burned into her brain forever.
“Okay,” I say, wiping my hands off on my shorts. Before I can push myself up, he grabs my hand.
“That’s not all, Thay.”
My body goes rigid at his soft tone.
“What else?”
He gives me a sad, soft frown.
“Laney can’t stay with us.”
The wind gets knocked out of me, and I struggle to breathe for a long second.
“What do you mean she can’t stay? Where is she going to go? She…we aren’t…No. I don’t even know what you mean, but the answer is no.”
I shove to my feet, and he follows just as fast. I try to step around him, but he holds his palms out, pleading.
“Move, Lambrit.”
“Listen to me, please. We aren’t abandoning her, Thayla.”
