Yes, this was an impulsive decision on Amick’s part, but the biggest difference is, this is a damn weekly occurrence with Riven.
Amick…never.
“Is that why you panicked when the Chancellor’s Choosing began?” Creed asks.
“I panicked because I knew I’d be chosen.”
“And you don’t want to be High Chancellor. You don’t even want to be a normal Chancellor,” I say and he nods.
“I don’t, but now I don’t have a choice. One day, I will be. Then one day, I’ll become just like Harriseen.”
All four of us immediately disagree with that statement, but he closes his eyes and lifts his hand out of the water to hush us.
“I will. I know that already. I’ve accepted it. I may not be like him in the sense I’ll demoralize myself to the point I play bothsides of the gods, but my needs and wants will always come before the Godsdawn.
“I can’t take that oath and live up to it. You four, our Valtrue, our family, will always come before the needs and wants of the Godsdawn, Godsden, the entire Valorian Veil. You four are my life and all that I truly care about. Without you all, what do I have to live for?”
Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I tear my gaze from staring at him. The hurt on this face, as though he imagined a life without us for a fleeting second, crushes something inside of me.
V’s words about them never being the same if something happened to one of them flood me. None of us would be the same without one another.
“I thought I had our solution all figured out. I’ve been planning and working things out in my mind that I thought for sure was going to set us all free. I don’t know anymore. I don’t feel like we’ll ever be free. One way or another.”
“What do you mean?” Kyzen asks.
Amick sighs and sits himself up. His arms disappear under the water as they rest on his knees and we all shift with the seriousness that crosses his face.
“Since the hot spring, when Seismet told us our role in the realm and what’s going on is fluid based on the choices we make, I began making a list of things that need to change. I, foolishly, thought I was taking our fate into our own hands.”
“We agreed we wouldn’t do shit,” Riven growls.
“You made that statement, then you killed a Domain God,” Amick retorts, staring Riven down with an arched brow. “You don’t believe that was a realm-changing choice?”
Riven huffs, crossing his arms as he grumbles about how that’s a taurnshit example. I think it’s a pretty accurate one.
“Where are you going with this, Amick?” Creed asks.
“I thought, if this was the role cursed upon us, we’d use it to our advantage. We’d make decisions that change the Godsden for both the better and our benefit. We’d get everything aligned to where our father couldn’t touch us.”
“Just fucking explain it all,” Creed shouts, bouncing me around on his chest.
My eyes widen slightly as instead of the anger I thought I’d feel from his soul, I sense…hope.
“My priority was getting us out of the agreement made on our behalf. We’ve got a solution for that now, but I don’t know what will happen truly once the agreement is nulled. Everything after that was things I disagreed with and if we could figure out how to change them, it could change the realm.”
“Like?” I push.
“The Attendants. We need to reframe how they’re viewed and treated. There’s nothing wrong with the Designation. It’s frowned upon simply because of Derivius’s disownment. Next, the Veilatara. They need to be unstrapped. There are bonds waiting in them and the longer they aren’t fulfilled, the more vulnerable they grow. Their purposes need to be served. Hellveilious…”
“What about it?” Creed’s low question has Amick tightening his lips.
“It needs to be restructured. There are souls there that shouldn’t be there. The authority is off. There’s no true reform happening or lessons being learned during their punishment. Our father goes in how he pleases and takes whoever he wants for the picking. There’s a lot, Creed.”
Chill bumps scatter down my arms with Creed’s long exhale.
“I know.”
“The Veiling Days, keeping the power from the people, the Becoming Gods, the skewed history. There’s so much wrong, butcorrecting one issue will inevitably lead to us mingling ourselves in another. It’s an unavoidable chain reaction.”
