“It just didn’t work out.”
“But why?”
I sighed. “Mama, she just wasn’t a good fit for me. She was beautiful to the public, and she pushed a narrative of caring about community, the underprivileged, the abused, and all that bull crap, but her heart wasn’t there.”
Mama reached out and grabbed my hands and squeezed them. “Caring about people like you? People whose parents abandoned them?”
I nodded. “I was just another charity case for her to flaunt as part of her steppingstone in her modeling career. She was just starting out when I met her. Daniella acted like she couldn’t live without me. We’re five years later, she’s a world-famous supermodel, and she no longer needs me. I’ve been going through some things with my career, and she felt it was tarnishing her reputation.”
Mama pressed her lips together and mumbled, “I see.”
I pulled my hands from hers, rubbed my eyes, and sighed as I sat back on the couch. I knew that I had been seeking in Daniella what I couldn’t get from Mama all those years. From the moment we met, she reminded me of my mama. Her beautiful caramel skin, large, dark glowing eyes, long lashes, high cheekbones, and full, pouty lips. She could have been my mother’s daughter.
Mama’s eyes softened, and she smiled as she touched my tattoos. “These are beautiful. When did you get them?”
“Through the years.”
“Why?”
That hurt my heart. She didn’t recall what had been done to me? She couldn’t remember the ugly scars and bruises on my skin that the other kids teased me about and caused them to label me as ugly?
I swallowed the hurt and the bitterness that rose up. Instead, I gave my mother a smile. “I don’t know, Mama. I just like them, and they mark the journey leading to my career is all.”
“Oh. Well, they look nice,” she replied with a tilted smile.
I could see the distant look in her eyes, and I wondered where her mind had wandered to. She slapped her hands on her thighs and smiled at me. “It’s almost time for my program to come on. You wanna watch it with me?”
“I’d better be heading out. I just made a quick stop here before I head to the airport.”
“You’re getting ready for another fight?” she asked happily.
“Yeah, but I needed to see you first, Mama,” I replied, fighting back the emotion in my voice.
I hugged and kissed her, and she walked me to the door. The last thing that I wanted was for my mother to see the broken parts of me.
This visit was selfish. The purpose of the visit was not completely about sealing the brokenness between my mother and me. This visit was going to harden my heart, cause me to lift my protective walls, and it was the fuel I needed to go into training camp and then to the fight and dominate.
SIX WEEKS LATER
“Oh my God,this has been so much fun! Girl, I could quit my job and live out here forever. These islands have the finest men,” Myracle declared, lowering her sunglasses to look at a couple of men who were walking by.
They were gawking at us as much as she was gawking at them. I had returned home to Cherokee Springs a week after Reighvyn left. It was difficult remaining in the cottage without him. I never expected to miss him so much, but it was like going off to college all over again. At least at home, I could busy myself with my flower shop and my family, to try to tame my thoughts about him.
I had come back to Sorrel Island this weekend to unwind after being home for five weeks. The girls had agreed to come with me. I had spoken with Reighvyn a few times the first week after he left, but then he ghosted me. It was hard to imagine that he hadn’t forgotten about me.
Sometimes the seashell necklace worked wonders on my aching heart, and at other times, it didn’t. I fought off the negative memories of when Neal would disappear on me, as they attempted to cloud my mind and replace Reighvyn’s reassurances. I knew that Reighvyn wasn’t married, because Paloma would have told me, but I wondered what his silence meant.
“Girl, pull your sunglasses up and act like you have some dignity about yourself,” Kandi Grace demanded.
“Listen, just because your boring ass doesn’t want to do anything but crunch numbers all day doesn’t mean I have to live like a nun. I’m single, and I need some good, hard dick to lay me down for the weekend,” Myracle argued.
“Knowing your whorish ass, you’ll have two or three,” Kandi Grace countered with a snicker.
Myracle bobbed her head with a big cheesy smile. “You’re right. One for each of my holes.”
Kandi Grace’s light golden-brown skin turned a shade of red that had nothing to do with the sun. “Girl, I don’t know why you still surprise me. You’ve been the biggest ho I’ve known since sixth grade when you first lost your virginity. Such a ho.”
“Ya mama,” Myracle replied.
