I check my watch and frown; she’s ten minutes late.
Now, Sidney isn’t known for being on time. I often have to tell her to be somewhere an hour early just so she is on time, but she rarely goes without texting me to let me know she’s running behind. And it makes me nervous when she goes silent on me. I’m just about to call her when she comes hurrying into the bar, cringing when she spots my frown.
“Sorry,” she picks up her beer and downs half of it in one go without a single wince. One glance at Scotty and I know he’s judging me for complaining so hard about the beer.
“Are you good?” I return my focus back to Sidney and scan the side of her pretty face.
She flicks her eyes to me, sighs, and then puts her beer down, turning to face me fully.
Nerves rattle through me, picking up on her restless energy, and I begin to tug at the collar of my shirt. I came straight from a meeting, so I’m still in my suit minus the jacket and tie.
“Sid, you’re making me nervous.”
“Shit, sorry,” she reaches for my hand and swallows hard. “I was just thinking…”
“About?”
“Your offer.”
Oh.
“We’ve known each other a really long time,” she fidgets, “You’re the only person in this whole world I trust.”
Oh shit.
“And I want to say yes.”
I think my heart stops beating. Someone call an ambulance; I might actually be having a heart attack. I can feel it pumping furiously inside my chest, the vein in my throat throbbing along with it. I rub at my sternum as if that can somehow stop my heart from over-fucking-reacting.
“But I’m terrified of losing you for starters,” she blows out a breath, “And what if we’re not, you know…compatible.”
I can’t help it; a loud burst of laughter erupts from me. “We’re compatible.”
“Ugh,” she throws her head back with a groan, “How are you always so sure about everything!? Aren’t you scared we could fuck this up!?”
“No,”yes.“We won’t fuck this up.”I would never survive if we did.
“What if we doit,” She widens her eyes, dropping her voice as if the bar is crowded and people are listening to every word we’re saying to each other. “And it gets weird between us?”
“Then we'll go to couples therapy.”
“Noah,” she laughs, “I don’t think they have couples therapy for friends.”
“Sure, they do.” I don’t actually know if that’s a thing, but I will make it a thing if I need to. I’m sure I can pay someone to do it.
She shakes her head, “There’s still a possibility that this won’t work.” She points between us.
“Why not try it out?” I suggest cooly, my exterior not at all matching the interior. Inside, I am dying. Crashingout. Spiraling so hard, I’m not sure I’ll make it out of the hole I am digging for myself.
“Try it out?” She quirks a brow, “What do you mean?”
“Why don’t we, you know,” I hint, “with no pressure involved. And if it works, great.”
“Just like that?”
“We’re both adults here, Sid.” I should really win an award for not freaking the fuck out right now.
She gnaws on her lip and glances around the bar before she settles her eyes back on me, “Okay.”
