I do apologise for the inconvenience, and wish to thank you for considering me for the fantastic position. Turning this down has been a very difficult decision for me, but I do know of someone who would be absolutely perfect for the post and I would like to suggest he gets in touch with you.
Very best wishes,
Clara
Short and sweet, she thought. No more overexplaining. This was a more assertive Clara and she still had more to do. After Stephen, Lawrence would be next on the list of people she needed to speak with. She would have to tell him that she wasn’t leaving Oxford and she would be happy to do whatever she could to stay around.
Clara felt slightly uneasy walking into work but reminded herself that this was what she wanted. A few minutes of embarrassment was worth going through rather than a lifetime of regret. She had to face the consequences for her mistake and it was too late to change anything now.
‘Good morning, Clara. Fancy a brew?’ said Lawrence, throwing off his jacket and putting the kettle on as he arrived for work. He had come in extra early this morning as it was supposed to be Stephen’s first day.
‘I’d love one, thank you.’ Clara wondered whether she could inform Lawrence of her new plans as he boiled the kettle, or if she should perhaps have a word privately in his office. She surmised that everyone would find out soon enough, so she may as well announce it in front of Flora, who was busy photocopying something for Lawrence.
‘I’m glad I’ve caught you early, I wanted a quick chat,’ said Clara.
While Lawrence placed Clara’s tea in front of her, Flora interrupted them.
‘Here you go, Lawrence. All done.’
‘Great stuff. Umm, Clara, can it wait? Sorry, I need to organise this lot before Stephen arrives. He’ll be here any second.’
Lawrence dashed off in a flash with the papers for Stephen’s induction along with his cuppa. Clara wanted to shout after him but didn’t have the nerve.
‘Of course,’ said Clara, to nobody in particular.
She felt ineffectual and not much use to anyone as she waited to speak to Lawrence, so she trawled through her inbox, which was full of people she had spoken to over the years, all wishing her well in her new position. From London to Lagos, well-wishers said they would pray for Clara as she started her new adventure.
At some point, she would have to send out another circular email; this time announcing her surprising decision. As she read through the barrage of lovely emails, she saw a new one arriving in her inbox. It was from King’s College.
Clara put her head in her hands. What would they say? They would be so disappointed. She was terrified to open it and after taking a sip of tea, decided to be brave. She was shocked when she read it and couldn’t believe how lovely they were. It was the first time she had ever let someone down and they weren’t mad, nobody died, and they were, in fact, completely understanding. They even suggested that she could visit as a guest preacher in the future.
It made her wonder how many other situations she had got herself into over the years where she felt compelled to do something, even if she didn’t want to. Clara would respect her own boundaries from now on.
It also looked like the substitute she had given them was indeed their perfect match. Unbeknownst to Clara until this morning, the job at Cambridge had been down to her and Stephen. Unlike Clara, Stephen desperately wanted to move to Cambridge as he had family there, and Oxford wasn’t his first choice. Stephen was delighted when Clara called him to explain the predicament.
When the office door banged, Clara assumed it must be Lawrence complaining that Stephen had turned the job down. Stephen’s only insistence was that he should do the decent thing and be the one to let Lawrence know that he wouldn’t be joining them. She wished he would hurry up and tell Lawrence though.
When she looked around, she saw Charlie who was banging about as he dropped in with some mail.
‘Still busy at it, Clara?’ he said.
‘Kind of. I’ve got a big announcement though. I’ll tell you after I’ve told Lawrence.’
‘You’re getting married to that chorister of yours and you want Lawrence to do the ceremony?’
‘Good gracious, no. It’s far too early between us for any of that.’ Clara laughed. Would she ever want to marry? It wasn’t something she had thought of before. It wasn’t like she’d ever had guys bombarding her with proposals. She was used to her independence, yet she had to admit that she enjoyed having Tom stay over and could imagine it would be nice having him around full-time.
‘Well, whatever it is, I can’t wait to hear it.’
‘I’ll probably tell everyone tomorrow at my final service; I hope you’re still going to be attending.’
‘You bet I am. It’s going to be bittersweet though. I always love your sermons but, seriously, your last one? Doesn’t bear thinking about.’
She gritted her teeth. ‘I know.’
Just as Charlie was about to head out, Lawrence came out of his office.
‘Still no sign of Stephen?’
