He scoots to the edge of his chair and holds a hand out. I hesitate, but slowly uncross my arms and reach into my waistband, pulling out the first knife Ten ever gifted to me, before sliding it over.
“Make sure Tennant gets that back,” I whisper. “You can keep the other, I don’t care, but this one has meaning.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be safe until you’re ready for it.” He sets the knife aside and holds his hand out again, this time I slip mine into his, soaking up his strength.
“Is this where you Daddy me?” I ask.
Connor chuckles. “No. You don’t need that from me, but I can help you, Hollis. It’s not going to be easy, but mental health never is. There’s a lot to unpack, a lot I don’t even know about. Javi gave me enough to understand you, and to come up with away to approach you, but he either wasn’t able to unearth much about what you went through, or kept some things to himself.”
“I’d be surprised if he managed to find any records… He and I are the same in that way, only mine were deliberately erased. Only my brother uses parts of my birth name now, though my lovers—apart from Emilio—know it.”
“I don’t need to know it,” he says gently. “If you ever feel comfortable enough to share, I’ll be honored, but it won’t affect my care of you. This is a team effort. I’m sure you’ve heard Javi’s spiel before.” He smirks and I huff a laugh.
“I have. He likes to give it to me almost every time we meet.” I won’t admit it, but I needed that. I needed to know Javi wouldn’t give up on me so easily, no matter how many times I wished he would.
“You’re going to hate me more often than not, because we’re going to drag up everything you’ve been avoiding. From what you’ve said today, I’m not surprised you have been trying not to think or bring up the past, but that level of avoidance isn’t working for you anymore, is it?”
Rather than pity, there’s compassion in his voice. I focus on our joined hands as I answer. “I don’t think it ever has. I’ve just done everything I could so I wouldn’t actively think. But…I think I knew the first time I relapsed that I was running on borrowed time.”
That was also the first time Emilio called me his Angel. His light in the dark. What he doesn’t know is that he is la luce della mia vita.
“Asking for help is the first step, Hollis. It’s going to be painful, messy, and it’ll probably get dark a few times, but I’m here. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this by yourself, not anymore.”
I look up into his eyes as he squeezes my hand again. “Is this how you get your patients to trust you enough to call you Daddy?”
He chuckles. “Being a Daddy is an instinct for me. It’s part of what keeps my heart beating. If I can help shoulder the burden while they do the heavy lifting of getting the help they need, then I will.”
“Doesn’t it get hard? When they don’t need you anymore? I’ve seen how Soren, Tennant, and Jude treat their Boys. Hell, I’ve seen the way Keegan cares for Carter, even though he’s not a Daddy.” Connor snorts. “I can’t imagine how painful it is when they no longer need you for their mental health care. Or…when we forced you to leave them for us.”
He sighs. “Yes, it’s hard, but I’m so fucking proud of where they go, of who they become. As a healthcare provider, and a Daddy, that’s all I want; for those under my care to get what they need to live fulfilling lives. It even includes those I don’t Daddy.” He looks at me pointedly, and my cheeks heat.
“I want this, Connor. I want to be better, stronger.”
“You’re already strong, Hollis. You survived, but I can help you learn how to live, rather than just go through the motions. You’ve got to work with me, though. No more missing appointments, or I will force the issue. I may not be your Daddy, but I doubt Javi will have a problem with me being more…forceful than is ethical. Understand?”
“Yes.”
I grip his hand like the lifeline it is as a new wave of tears fall, and pray to deities I stopped believing in at a young age that he and Javi are right.
Because it’s time for me to be the man I promised I was, to everyone under me, no matter how hard it is.Fuck, please let this work. I won’t survive otherwise.
Frowning, I stop in pursuit of my original goal: the kitchen. I’m past the entryway, almost at my target, when suddenly, the sound of fighting breaks out. Cursing, I quickly whirl around, racing toward the front of the house, even when I realize I have no fucking weapon on me. Who the hell is coming at us?
Stopping just before I get to the front entrance, I pull out my phone and send an emergency text, because I have no fucking clue what to do without a weapon. I swallow hard, inching toward the edge of hallway, so I can at least peak around and see what the fuck is going on. My phone vibrates, and I’m glad it's on silent, but I don’t pay attention, because the sight in front of me is…Fuck. I have no words for it.
The man currently killing the guards who are rushing him, multiple at a time, looks like someone who just walked offa movie set featuring badass MC gang members. I realize it’s a complete stereotype, but he’s wearing a leather jacket with patches, pants that…um, yes please. Not that I am exactly noticing or appreciating, but damn, how does he move so smoothly like that? Although, the beard definitely needs to go.
I’m surprised the man isn’t riddled with bullets, but he smoothly dances between the guards, taunting them while laughing. And when he exchanges his knives for two guns? Fuck. The situation just went from dangerous to high alert.
“Enough!” Daddy’s voice rings out, echoing in the hallway. The tableau of chaos freezes, especially as the next person chimes in.
“Atticus! You’re finally here!” I creep out, my jaw dropping as Javi bounds across the room to embrace the, uh, therapist? I think?
Daddy pinches the bridge of his nose, taking slow, deliberate breaths as others start showing up. Jude’s expression is cold and closed down. Keegan has Carter tucked behind him. Not that it’s really doing much, as Carter keeps peeking around at the bodies littering the floor and at Atticus in a stranglehold with the much smaller Javi. The need to laugh bubbles up inside me, but I fight it down. I doubt anyone would appreciate it. Especially the two guards who are still standing hesitantly.
“Is there a reason this turned into…” Daddy doesn’t finish the sentence, likely having no words for it, as I don’t either. Though, I shiver at his dangerous, low voice. It’s dripping in ice, and damn, is it a turn-on.
Javi pulls back, and Atticus immediately holsters his guns in such a smooth move that I almost whimper at the sight. Atticus casts a sideways glance at Javi before clearing his throat and stepping forward, offering his hand. Tennant just stares at it before Atticus shrugs and drops it.
