So I speak, mouth dry, my heart pounding violently. “Our shadows have been connected,” I say, gesturing to the ground. “I never wished for that, and I can’t cut it myself.” I’m embarrassed to say this in front of Tristan who not only was the one to create this bond but also told me in no uncertain terms that he wants to deepen it. “I suffered terribly the last time I was bound this way to another man, and I just… I just can’t bear it,” I utter, trying to hold in tears. “I’m afraid of what it means, even though the person I’m tied to now is… is kind, and caring, and trustworthy. I can’t let go of the memories, and they hurt so much, they taint our bond. Can you… sever this connection—” How do I address it? It doesn’t have a name, or a title, as far as I’m aware, so I settle on, “Please?” and lower my head, shaken by a growing sense of nausea.
The unicorn gives Tristan a questioning look, and it’s so strange to see it communicate its thoughts so clearly without words.
Tristan clears his throat and picks up a single thread of shadow from the ground as if it’s a physical object. He presents it to the magnificent creature. “I do not wish for this. But I made a vow to help him cut it, so here I am, asking you to sever the bond between us. He deserves whatever brings him peace.” His voice trembles at the end, but he steadies it with a deep breath.
I want to reach out and squeeze his hand as a wave of grief resonates through my body, but the unicorn huffs, lowers its head, and as the horn touches the dark thread, it turns into a wisp of smoke.
Something shifts inside me, as if gravity has suddenly become so much stronger, and I claw my hands onto the snow, trying to catch my breath.
I’m shaking, my joints hurt, and a dark sensation crawls through my torso, but the unicorn steps back, its slender hooves sinking into the snow ever more quietly.
“Thank you,” Tristan says grimly when words fail me.
The unicorn shakes its mane, and the sparkly particles it leaves behind melt away like snow. And then it’s gone. Just like that. For a moment, we still hear the clicking of hooves against stone, but then even that stops.
That was the most incredible encounter of my life, while also leaving me feeling as if there was something anticlimactic about it all. I made my request, and the unicorn granted my wish. It wanted nothing in return, nor did we have to fight it or trick it.
I should be happy.
I’m free to do as I please, released from the thread connecting me to a shadow wielder. I can go home.
But I feel… lost.
Empty.
And at the same time also profoundly hungover.
My body is so rigid and heavy that all I want is to curl up in the snow and sleep, but we should get going. Maybe once we’re back in the castle, and have our usual comforts back, thinking will be easier.
I glance over my shoulder.
“Come. You will get wet,” Tristan says and helps me up. As if we haven’t just met a mythical creature and severed a shadow bond. Achieved the unachievable.
I couldn’t have done it without him.
The truth behind that thought sinks deep, and I turn to face him, following the natural pull toward the one person who hasstood by me. I move into a hug, longing for his touch in this moonlit night, but he steps back, gaze lowering.
“I’m sorry. I cannot bear it.”
He kept his promise to me so honorably. Even though he’s admitted it wasn’t his wish. I was wanted. I was promised.Hispromised. He stood by me even as I chose to cut the bond he believed sacred.
And now we’re both alone.
Deserted in a world where vows can be written in stars and shadows.
We had a connection so many would have dreamed of, but I had us go out of our way to end it, because it seemed like the only way for me to regain my freedom.
So why does my heart feel like a void?
Everything inside me longs for Tristan. The tension in his face and hunched shoulders make me want to cry, but what’s done is done. I wanted this, and now I’ll have to live with the consequences.
“So… What an amazing creature,” Tristan says, leading the way back to Stone.
I’m struggling to gather my thoughts. If this was what I wanted, then why does it feel as if a well of hopelessness has opened up under my feet?
“Yes. It… it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” I say, but the words feel like cardboard in my mouth as I follow Tristan to where we left Stone.
The ruins that have looked so magical before appear desaturated, as if the loss of my connection to Tristan has affected even the way I see the Nightmare Realm.
