The lookout near the border of Idaho wasn’t the first view to take my breath away on this trip, but it was the first I got to take in with Dex’s hand on the small of my back.
A guardrail stood between us and a rocky slope leading down to a canyon with a deep blue body of water nestled inside, surrounded by evergreens. Somewhere overhead, a hawk cried. The air was crisp, clean, full of florals and grass. It took Phoebe a solid minute to lift Dad’s camera.
“Good call, Bee,” I said. A few others had pulled over to take in the view, snapping pictures with their phones. “This is really beautiful.”
“And we didn’t have to hike five miles to see it,” Dex added. “Gold star.”
I smacked his stomach and he laughed loudly, the sound echoing into the cavern. Phoebe swiveled to look at us, eyebrows flying up. I took a step away from him, warmth rushing to my cheeks, and it turned into a blaze when she snapped a Polaroid of the two of us standing there.
“We should go somewhere you wanna go, Dex,” she said, lowering the camera.
“Isn’t that what this whole thing is?” he replied.
She shrugged with one shoulder. “Sure. Theoretically.” Dex and I exchanged a look. Clearly, we weren’t as subtle as we thought. “But I’ve picked most of the detours. Vi picked one. You haven’t picked any. It’s your turn.”
“Pass.” He folded his arms, his button-up pulling taut across his back. I had to tear my eyes away before Phoebe caught me. “Are we done?”
Phoebe rolled her eyes with her whole body. “We just got here.”
“We saw it. It’s great. You took a picture. Let’s go.”
He headed to the car. She shot me a look. “Can you holdhim off? I wanna get another picture. I don’t want the guardrail in it.”
“Sure. But don’t climb over. It’s there for a reason.”
“When my therapist calls later, I’m going to kick off with how idiotic my sister thinks I am.”
We shared a smile. I followed Dex to the car, where he leaned against the passenger door, head back to let the sun warm his face. “Hey,” I said. “Quit being a grump. You’re killing the mood.”
He jerked his chin toward the lookout. “Think she knows?”
“Maybe,” I allowed, glancing over my shoulder. Phoebe stretched over the guardrail, this time with her phone, keeping both feet firmly planted on the ground. “She’s perceptive. Chances are, she’s known for a while.”
His eyes dipped to me, almost black even under the midday sun.
“About me,” I tacked on belatedly. “I haven’t been very stealthy since Chicago. But we all know you’re a vault.”
He winced and looked away. “I’m trying, Vi.”
“I know. I’m not saying—”
“You are sobrave,” he said emphatically. When his eyes met mine, I recognized a flicker of impatience I hadn’t seen since Boston, and the reemergence put an ache in my gut. “You feel things out loud. You can’t keep it in. You’ll shout your problems at a stranger on the street.”
“So by brave, you mean unbalanced.”
He pulled a hand through his hair and I tried not to think about how those curls felt between my fingers. “You’re open in a way I’m not. I’m not like that. And sometimes you look at me like I’m missing a piece because of it.”
I sucked in a breath. “Dex. I don’t think that. Of course I don’t think that.”
“A week ago, you did,” he said. I bit my lip, unable to dispute this. “Maybe I am. Fuck.” He raised his hands to his face, dragging them down. “This is why I didn’t want to do this.”
Every bit of air rushed out of my lungs. “Do what?”
“You are so fucking good, Vi. I’m—I’m nowhere near you.”
I stepped away, head spinning. “You’re seriously doing thisnow? Now that we’ve had sex and I’m half in love with you, you’re gonna pull this?”
His breathing quickened. “Violet.”
