“Um.” I blinked. “Everything?”
He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. “Fuck. Okay. Violet, I have to tell you something.”
My stomach dropped. “Okay?” I said and put the cinnamon roll in the box to free up my hands. When Dex looked at me, there was something so hauntingly familiar in his expression, I gasped out loud. “Oh my god. She’s dead. She’s dead, isn’t she? That’s why you said giving her the letter was pointless.”
“What?” He scowled. “No. Cat’s not… No.”
I placed my hand over my racing heart. “Okay, Jesus. What was I supposed to think? You look like someone died. What is happening here?”
“This has always been about closure,” he said. “I needed this letter gone. Cat deserves it—she deserves that closure. That’s the point. I needed it done so we could both move on with our lives.” He swallowed, eyes roving my face. “I’m not about to tell you what you deserve. You can decide that on your own. But I’m not worth much of anything with this hanging over my head. I wanted it done before I let myself feel anything for you. Vi, I likeyou,” he said, and my next breath snagged in my throat. “I like being around you—and I don’t like being around anyone anymore.”
Our knees brushed. I pressed in harder, a reminder I felt the same way, that he already knew. “This means something to me,” he said earnestly. Warmth radiated in my chest, my whole body awash with relief. He had no intention of reconciling with Catalina. He wanted me. “At this point, I can take or leave the closure. I could turn around and go back to Boston and be okay with that, as long as you were there and you were looking at me like this. Meeting you and meeting Phoebe… that’s what made this trip worth anything to me.”
I stood, needing to be closer. He opened his knees for me, I stepped between them, my hands brushing over his shoulders, his hands finding my hips. I wanted to kiss him—the elevator felt like so long ago, and now we could relish, unhurried and real—but he pressed his face into my stomach, his arms looping around to hold me, andoh, this was better. To be held by him. To let the electricity simmer in a warm glow. To inhale the crisp scent of his soap, to feel his hot breath through my T-shirt, to wrap him up in my arms and bury my face in his hair.
I could so easily fall in love with him. I was halfway there.
When Phoebe emerged from the bathroom, Dex and I had returned to our respective beds and finished the cinnamon roll. She sat beside me and held up her hands.
“So, hear me out.”
“Uh-oh,” I said.
“I think we should take a detour,” she continued, shifting her focus to Dex. He regarded her impassively. “Utah’s close, right?”
“Utah?” I raised my eyebrows. “What’s in Utah?”
“There’s this wildlife sanctuary for exotic animals and you can meet elephants and giraffes.”
Immediately, I turned to Dex and said, “We should go to Utah.”
Phoebe held out her fist and I bumped it. Dex looked between us, unamused. “That’s a pretty big detour.”
“Aworthwhiledetour.” She shot him a charming grin. “Come on, Dex. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it’ssomuch better than Yogi.”
“You picked Yogi,” he reminded her. “You want to add another two days to the trip?”
Phoebe glanced at me, her confidence slipping. But that number didn’t scare me. I looked at Dex, thinking of spending two more days wrapped around him, and when he looked at me, I knew he was thinking the same thing.
“Fine,” he said. “But we’re listening to one of my playlists on the way.”
Nineteen
PROVO, UT
“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Arden said, her voice impeded by the rain pelting the windshield. I hadn’t meant to slack on updates, but after my heart-to-heart with Phoebe and this thing growing between Dex and me, I’d forgotten to answer more than a few of Arden’s texts. This morning, I woke up to:IF YOU DON’T ANSWER IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES I AM REPORTING YOU AND PHOEBE AS MISSING PERSONS!!!Of course, she hadn’t accounted for the time difference, and we’d all overslept and had to rush to make checkout, so I didn’t end up calling until two hours later from the highway.
Her relief trumped her anger, although I could tell she wasn’t thrilled to be on speaker. No way could I try to explain what was happening with Dex in the car with him and my sister; even if I spoke in code, Phoebe would figure it out. She was too clever for her own good.
“It’s only two more days,” I replied.
“No, I mean you guys meeting elephants without me.”
Phoebe laughed. “You should go there for your honeymoon.”
“Is it bad that I don’t hate that idea?”
“Well, Noah hates sand and you hate swimming in open water,” I said. “It makes sense in a very specific to you way.”
