“Dude!” Phoebe shouted, turning her controller upside down as she furiously tapped buttons. “What did I ever do to you?”
“Hit me with two red shells in a row.” Dex’s voice sent me into a tailspin. I caught myself on the door, the metal cool against my clammy hand. He washere. I blinked hard at the back of his head, expecting him to disappear in a wisp of smoke. Instead, he groaned and said, “Fuck. Blue shell.”
“NO!” Phoebe wailed. He laughed, glancing over at her, catching me in his periphery. He spun around, his chest rising in a tight breath.
“You guys keep focusing on each other,” Noah said, turning his controller forcefully. “And I’ll keep winning. This works for me.”
Dex’s mouth tipped into a devastating smile, turning my mind and limbs to jelly. My tote slipped from my arm, landing with a loud thunk on the floor. Phoebe jumped and wheeled around.
“Vi!” She scrambled to pause the game. “Hey! You’re home!”
Noah grinned and set his controller down, giving us his full attention. Dizziness engulfed me. I managed a slight nod, my focus never leaving the man on the far end of the couch whose hair had a teensy bit more length to it and a bit of curl, his face semirecently shaved, that easy smile tugging at his lips. Something had changed in him, maybe the same thing that had turned over inside me these last few months.
Without the tension in his shoulders or the tightness in his eyes, he seemed more at peace than I’d ever seen him.
My body was drawn to him.I remember you, it seemed to say.
“Is this okay?” Phoebe said. “I figured it probably would be, but—”
“Yes.” My voice came out too loud, so I cleared my throat and tried again. “Of course it’s okay. Hi. You’re here. You’re home.”
Dex’s smile lit something up in me. I could’ve produced actual light. “I’m home,” he said. “Sorry it took so long.”
“Oh!” Phoebe smacked her palm against her forehead. “Noah! Remember you were gonna show me that thing?”
Noah hummed and climbed to his feet. “Oh, sure. That thing.”
Phoebe hurled herself over the side of the couch, bounding up to me. “I know you don’t love surprises,” she whispered. “But I figured this one might be okay.”
I squeezed her elbow. “Thanks, Bee.”
They slipped out the door, easing it shut behind them. Silence echoed. Dex stood up and rounded the couch, his graybutton-up loose at the collar, jeans dark, his sleeve folded up over his cast.
“Hey,” he said softly. I padded over, not stopping until he was right there and I could fling myself into his arms, knocking him back a couple steps. He lifted me up, squeezing me even tighter than I held him.
“You’re here,” I said into his neck. His hand brushed up my back, his fingers sliding along my nape.
“I’m here.”
“I missed you so much.”
Impossibly, he held me tighter. “I missed you, too, Vi. So much.”
“I know we have stuff to talk about. But can we just…”
“Yeah. Yeah. Another minute.”
In reality, it was another three and a half minutes. It felt so good to touch him again, to simply be in his presence. I could feel myself glowing, could see him glowing right back at me.
I wanted to jump his bones. Badly.
“So, we should…” I said, and he nodded, the fingers of his opposite hand tracing one of the countless stickers and signatures accosting his cast. I made a mental note to sign it later, after the more pressing matters.
“Yeah.” He took a breath, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he met my gaze. “Violet, you have to know I regret it. Not telling you about Benji. I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I spent the last year convinced I was fine,” he told me. “Because I didn’t talk about him and I rarely let myself think about him. It was so bad at first, it didn’t feel survivable. I needed the repression to get through the day. And then I just… kept at it. It worked, or it felt like it did. I ran. I kept running, thinking if Iwent far enough, it wouldn’t catch up. And then you came out of the blue and you wouldn’t let me run anymore.
