That was the line I’d drawn in the sand, the promise I’d made to myself after he left. I wasn’t going to beg a man for his affection. I wasn’t going to become one of those women who made themselves small and desperate, hoping that if they just loved hard enough, it would be enough to make someone stay.
I’d spent my whole life being easy. Being accommodating. Being the girl who didn’t ask for too much because asking meant risking rejection. And where had it gotten me? Alone in a barn on a Friday night while snow piled up outside, crying over a man who’d made me believe I was worth fighting for and then proved I wasn’t.
No.
If Liam wanted to run, then I’d let him.
Even if I missed him with every breath I took and wished to my core that for once I’d been enough for him to stay.
The crunch of tires coming up the drive broke me out of my thoughts, and headlights grew closer. The truck was too far away to see who it was. Probably one of my parents’ friends.
I wiped away the few errant tears that had escaped and decided this was my sign to head back to the house. I headed down the ladder and was walking toward the barn door when it slid open and I froze to my spot.
Liam stood in the doorway, snow dusting his dark hair and the shoulders of his jacket. He looked like hell with his face unshaven and shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept properly in days. Maybe weeks. His green eyes foundmine across the dim space, and I saw a yearning in them that made my traitorous heart stutter.
“What are you doing here?” My voice came out steadier than I felt.
He didn’t move, just stood there in the doorway while the snow swirled around him, looking at me like I was the only thing in the world worth seeing.
And I hated him a little for it.
I hated him for showing up here, in my safe place, looking wrecked and beautiful and sorry. I hated him for making me feel things I’d spent weeks trying to bury. I hated him for the way my heart was racing despite everything he’d done.
Most of all, I hated that some small, stupid part of me was glad he’d come.
But I wasn’t going to show him that.
I crossed my arms over my chest and lifted my chin, armor locking into place.
“Well?” I said. “Did you just come here to stare or do you have something to say?”
FIFTY-ONE
Goddamn, she was sexy when she was angry at me. Honestly, she looked like she wanted to strangle me.
Fair enough. I probably deserved that.
Ava stood in the middle of the barn, her arms crossed over her chest, her chin lifted in defiance like she was trying to prove she was strong enough for whatever I’d come here to say. She wouldn’t be broken by me, even if the tear stains on her cheeks gave away that I’d already hurt her horribly.
“Well?” she said. “Did you just come here to stare or do you have something to say?”
Fuck, I loved her so much. Her sass, her fire, everything about her.
I stayed in the doorway. Snow swirled around me, the wind cutting through my jacket, but I barely felt it. All I could feel was her—the pull of her, the gravity that had been dragging me toward this moment since the second I’d walked away from her.
“I have something to say.”
“Then say it and leave. Some of us have better things todo than stand in a freezing barn waiting for you to find your words.”
I ran a hand through my hair, scattering snow. “I’m an idiot.”
“Finally, something we agree on.”
Despite everything, I almost smiled. This was the Ava I’d fallen for. Sharp and unafraid and absolutely unwilling to make anything easy for me.
“I lied to you,” I said. “Everything I said that night—about the chase, about getting restless, about you being just an arrangement—it was all bullshit.”
“I know.”
