“Like I said, I’m going right back there. I just wanted to make sure we were good.”
Drew stood. “We’re good enough to play tonight. I still don’t like how any of this went down, and I’m still worried about her.”
“I know you are. And I give you full permission to beat my ass if I ruin this.”
He scoffed. “As if I needed your permission.”
He held out his hand—not for a handshake, but for the grip we’d been doing since we were kids. I clasped it, and for a moment, it felt like things were almost back to normal.
“Don’t make me regret not killing you,” he said.
“I’ll do my best.”
I headed for the door, my mind already on Ava. On all the things I needed to say. On the fear I couldn’t quite shake and the hope I was finally letting myself feel.
I was still terrified of becoming my father. Still scared of the damage I might do. But Ava was worth the risk.
She was worth everything.
Except when I got back to her apartment, she was gone.
“Where’d she go?” I asked Sydney.
She shrugged. “She didn’t say. She had her backpack with her, so maybe she went to study somewhere.”
Well, fuck.
I didn’t like this hanging over my head. She needed to know the truth.
That I was hers. If she’d have me.
FORTY-ONE
Maybe I’d been a giant chicken this morning when I’d bailed as soon as I heard Liam leave my apartment. I’d spent the rest of the day studying at a coffee shop in nearby Missoula instead of hanging in Dunridge. But I wasn’t going to miss my brother’s hockey game.
I’d considered it, but then Sam had texted the group chat she’d created with me, Abby, and Harper about tonight’s game, and I decided I couldn’t be a chicken any longer. If I avoided games, people would know something was wrong.
That was the trick when you were trying to pretend everything was fine—you had to do business as usual. And I never missed my brother’s games.
“Over here!” Sam waved enthusiastically from her spot behind the glass, her voice carrying over the pre-game noise. Harper and Abby were already settled on the blanket, and I picked my way through the filling stands to join them.
I sat down next to Harper. “Where’s Rory?”
She turned around and gestured a few rows up and over where my parents sat with Rory in my mom’s arms.
“How are things going with them?”
Drew had gotten into it with our parents about his relationship with Harper, and while the silence between them had been deafening this summer, my mom had cracked when I went back to school. She showed up at the hockey house with her famous huckleberry loaf and tears in her eyes and Drew had let her in. My dad was still a bit stiff with Harper, but I thought they were making progress. But I was curious how Harper felt about it.
“It’s going. It’ll take time, but we’re hopeful they’ll come around eventually.”
I nodded. “My dad can be stubborn, but he loves Drew. He’ll get there.”
“That’s what Drew keeps saying.” Harper smiled, but then her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied my face. “You okay?”
Damn. I thought I’d been doing a better job of hiding it.
“Just tired. Didn’t sleep great last night.”
