THEN
With my hand on my not-quite bump, I pace the small kitchen, wondering what I should do about Dina possibly being back in the UK. Calling the police would be the sensible option, wouldn’t it? But maybe that’s an over-reaction.
I don’t want to tell Dad my discovery. Not yet anyway. There’s no point alarming him. But who am I kidding? Dad doesn’t get fazed by anything. I’m more worried by the likelihood hewouldn’tbe alarmed. That he would give his usual shrug of the shoulders and say Dina will contact us when she’s ready. It would seem that I’m the only one who actually gives a damn. And I’m not even sure why.
She left the UK almost ten years ago and hasn’t once been back for a visit. Sure, she keeps in touch sporadically via text and the occasional email. But the sad thing is, she usually only contacts me or Dad when she needs something. I try not to dwell on that. If she really is back in England, then surely it’s an opportunity for us to reconnect. To make amends for past hurts. But I know I’m kidding myself. If Dina is back and hasn’t got in touch, then she’s even more selfish than I thought. After the last time we spoke, I felt like I never wanted to talk to her again. But she’s still my sister. I need to know one way or another, partly for Dina’s sake, but mainly for my own peace of mind.
I stop pacing and sit at the table, annoyed by the tears of self-pity and anger that are threatening to fall. I sniff loudly and snatch up my phone again, this time calling the one person I trust to know what to do.
‘Hi, Zo.’
‘Toby, are you busy?’
‘We’re laying a patio over in Fontmell Magna.’
‘Oh, okay, don’t worry. I’ll speak to you later.’
‘What is it?’
I will myself to sound calm. ‘Nothing. I was just seeing if you were free to come home for lunch, but—’
‘Hang on a sec…’
‘Toby…’ But he’s not listening. I hear muffled voices down the line, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.
‘Zo?’
‘Yeah, I’m still here.’
‘I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Can you make me a sandwich?’
‘You don’t have to.’
‘I want to.’
‘What about the patio?’
‘Dad and Nick can manage for a bit. We were off to the pub for lunch anyway.’
‘Okay, see you soon.’
I feel instantly better now that I know Toby’s on his way back. He’ll know what to do. And even if he doesn’t, it will help to have someone to talk to about things. He already knows how shaky things have been in the past between me and Dina. Okay, so he doesn’t know everything. But that doesn’t matter.
I busy myself making us both a cheese salad sandwich until finally I hear his key in the lock.
‘Hey!’ he calls out.
‘Hey, in here,’ I reply.
Toby comes through to the kitchen, rubbing his hands together, bringing with him the fresh scents of damp earth and cold air. ‘You okay? That sarnie looks amazing. I’m starving.’ He gives me a lingering kiss followed by a hug.
‘I’m really glad you’re here, Tobes. Sit down. Do you want tea?’
‘Please, that would be great. You all right? You sounded wobbly on the phone.’
‘It’s Dina. But it’s probably nothing.’
Toby washes his hands at the kitchen sink. ‘Oh yeah? What’s happened?’ He sits at the table, picks up half his sandwich and takes a huge bite.
