Is it fear?
Fear of rejection? Fear of his truth?
It doesn’t matter, because he’s walking away now. He told me to talk to someone, anyone, because he’s clearly concerned about my mental state. Maybe it’s nothing more than that.
“What’s got you down, Sand?” It’s Raef, joining me at my sad, lonely table. He already has an ale in hand, but he didn’t bring an extra, which I’m grateful for.
“Everything,” I mutter.
“Well, I don’t know if I’m qualified to help you with all that. Sounds like a lot.”
I give him a look.
“Tell you what, you talk Kezra into bonding with me instead, and I’ll try to help you with whatever’s troubling you.”
“Trust me, I’d let you have the bond if I could. I wish I hadn’t been her first choice.”
“Yeah, I know. Hence why I said you need to talkherinto it.” He knocks on my forehead gently, as if to imply it’s hollow in there or something.
I swat his hand away and a small smile tugs at my lips.
“There she is.” He grins.
“What’s your obsession with the fairy, anyway?”
He shrugs. “She’s awesome.”
“Oh.”
“So…” He looks around, acting nonchalant. There’s nothing nonchalant about Raef. “Fighting with my brother, are we?”
I look down at my hands, twiddling them anxiously. “He thinks I’ve… moved on.”
“Have you?” he asks outright.
His forwardness shouldn’t surprise me, but it does.
“No,” I whisper. “Not at all.”
“Well, that’s good news. Neither has he. And he’s getting pretty insufferable because of it, so… it would be nice for me personally, your good old buddy Raef, if you could push aside whatever you’ve got going on, and talk. And then fuck.”
I give him a sad smile. And oddly, I feel a small sense of reassurance. Raef saying those things doesn’t mean our troubles will magically melt away, but maybe I should start by talking to him.
Eventually.
I head off to bed early, all alone.
He never comes.
~
The deep ache in my chest is back. I wish I could stop crying, but unfortunately, I woke up to an empty bed and now tears flood my eyes. I hate that he’s so close, yet so distant from me.
And he broke his promise.
I should go to him. I want to. But I’m afraid. I was really hoping he’d come to me, but maybe he thinks I don’t want him in my bed. I have been a little closed off.
While I lie here awake, I do a lot of thinking about the necklace, and how we’re going to sneak into the castle. One thing I don’t understand though, is who altered it, and why? Did someone know what it was? Did my mom? She certainly favored it, from what I was told.
