He sighs. “Fine. Then what are we going to do with her?”
“We could leave her out here to fend for herself,” Rhydra suggests.
“Yeah,” I agree. “She’ll be fine. The inn is right there. If she tries to leave, we’ll be far ahead of her.”
I’m surprised no one came out and caught sight of the fray. Or maybe they did and decided they wanted nothing to do with it, heading right back inside to avoid it.
Phaedra remains where she is with her arms crossed, silent. She doesn’t protest. What would be the alternative? Bring her with us to Morne where she can squeal about us to the next person who will listen? I think not.
“Okay, who is doubling up?” Rhydra asks as she stops in front of the three available horses.
I look around, immediately realizing I’m by far the smallest one here and it would make the most sense for me to double up.
“Elysande is with me,” Daegan answers immediately.
No one argues. In fact, they are suspiciously quiet. Raef and Rhydra turn to pack their horses while Daegan glances at me, his eyes awaiting my confirmation.
“Fine,” I say. Then I pull off my bag and secure it to the horse.
“Ladies first,” he says, his hand held out to assist me up.
The moment I take it, I feel his warmth travel from my hand all the way through my body. I can feel my cheeks flush as I climb atop the horse, and it only worsens as I feel him sit close behind me. His scent engulfs me, drowning out all thoughts and horrors from the morning.
Maybe it’s his calming presence, or maybe it’s just that I’m becoming more and more desensitized to the horrors around me.
Or perhaps both.
Chapter 57
We make it all the way to Morne by late afternoon. It’s one of the biggest towns on the continent, with bustling streets, busy markets, and plenty of taverns and inns to visit. I always wished I could visit more, but I only came once when I was younger. Many different species cohabitate here, but you’ll rarely catch any elves. Or so my father told me. He also told me it has a reputation for attracting the wrong sort of people. I’m beginning to think everything he’s ever told me was a lie. Either way, we need to remain as unseen as possible.
Fortunately, no one questions us at the gate. The guard is bored, laid back. After passing through the border wall that’s much shabbier than any in Ellyar, with crumbling stones in places, we decide to find an inn on the outskirts in hopes that we won’t run into as big of a crowd out here. Our guess proves correct.
After we eat a hearty, quiet dinner, Daegan pulls me aside.
“We haven’t had time to properly talk. Alone.”
“What exactly did you want to talk about?”
“Everything.”
Suddenly, I feel nervous. Suddenly, my cowardice begins to slip through. I’m afraid to admit to him, more than anyone, how low I sunk. How hopeless I became for a while. And if he tells me what happened to him… it might break me.
“I… can’t."
His jaw twitches and he looks away from me. He’s silent, and I notice his hand clenching and his knuckles tightening. He’s aged since we’ve been apart. He looks more mature, like he’s somehow filled out even though they couldn’thave been feeding him well when he was imprisoned. I wonder what state he was in when he first escaped a few months ago. The thought makes me ill.
When his hardened, beautiful face turns to me again, he looks… resolved. “Can’t, or won’t?”
I open my mouth as if to answer, but I have no coherent response. So I shut it, shake my head, and look away.
The noise around us is muffled. I can’t hear anything except his heavy sigh. I can only feel the heavy beating of my heart.
“It’s okay if you… moved on. I only wanted to check on you... make sure you’re okay.” He stands and I avoid looking at him. “If you won’t talk to me, can you at least talk to somebody?”
There’s an ache in my chest that feels dire. Is he okay with me moving on because he has? Was I right? Did he realize that loving me was a stupid waste of his time? When he came to me in the middle of the night, I thought maybe that meant he still cared deeply. Was it just a pity visit? Yes, Raef and Rhydra have told me Daegan was relentless in finding me, but maybe that’s just because of the mission. Maybe Maethrel told him I’m essential for something, and that’s all his attachment is. He needs me to save our world.
But still, I want to open my stubborn mouth and tell him he’s wrong. I want to tell him there’s no one else I’d rather talk to, and yet… I can’t seem to find the words.
