“No,” she replies simply. “You know this is bigger than that. Fuck, you started this whole thing. You can’t back out now just because of an asshole dragon with commitment issues.”
“I don’t…” I trail off, not even knowing what I was going to say. I thought I had good reasons before, but Daegan already had good arguments for all of them. The library, the diadem… we can keep searching from anywhere. It might even be beneficial to look elsewhere.
“Think about it. We’re heading in that direction for another day or two before it splits off toward Ellyar. But if it helps, I’d be a lot happier if you came with us.”
“Do you think my father will put a bounty out for me if I disappear?”
“It’s possible. But no one in Torrynth will sell you out to him.”
“How do you know?”
“Because they all hate him with a burning passion. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they also have a lot of pride. Enough that none of them will do a single thing to help him.”
“Did you see the sword?” I ask.
She nods. “We all did when you were… passed out. After you saved our fucking asses. Gaethri thinks it’s the one. So do Daegan and Raef. We also filled them in on all the other details they were in the dark about. It was part of the deal.”
I don’t protest. I have no qualms about that. I trust this little circle that’s come together by chance or fate or whatever you want to call it.
Now seems like the perfect time for a bath, so I start one and think more as I soak in the familiar warmth. After the bath I take my time getting ready, lost in my thoughts, needing this little stretch of quiet time away from everyone more than I knew.
Thinking about this entire group going on without me while I just return to my old life, alone… it fills my chest with a sadness that I can’t ignore. I’ve never really had anything to lose before, but now it finally feels like I’m gaining a family, and they’re all on this journey with me, taking the same risks. Leaving them while they travel to the other side of the continent… it seems so unfair. I wish there was a better way. But I really could stay behind and be useful from there. I could go back to how I was for years, scouring the library for clues, searching the castle for the relic, sending them messages somehow…
But I know, deep down, I can never go back to who I was. I’ve changed. And I know now that this decision can’t rest solely on my silly emotions, and whatever game Daegan is playing.
I need to talk to him.
I find him downstairs, eating with everyone else. Somehow, his eyes flick up and find mine the moment I walk into the room.
I had plans to confront him and tell him my demands, but now that I’m down here and I can smell the savory aromas in the air, I realize how hungry I am. It can wait.
I sit at the far end of the table by Gaethri and Rhydra, who watch me inhale my food in record time. I don’t even have a moment to speak.
Afterwards, I grab an ale for a little liquid courage, chug half of it right away, and march up to Daegan.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
I lead him down a dark, secluded hallway, then turn to face him, leaning back against the wall.
“This stops now,” I tell him, my voice stern.
“What?”
“If I’m going with you guys, it’s as a partnership. With all of us. Nothing more.” I look him up and down, ignoring every enticing thing about him. Which is everything. Literally everything. “No more locking eyes with me across the room, no more wrapping your body around me in the middle of the night, no more demanding I be followed because you think you have some sort of protective claim over me. None of it. We’re friends, allies, and nothing more.”
Daegan’s chest expands as he takes a breath, his eyes surveying me. A ghost of a smirk touches his lips for some reason. “No.”
“What?”
“No. I cannot agree to that.”
“Why not? You don’t want me to come now? You’ve changed your mind?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then I don’t—”
