‘Oh?’ Ezz queried politely.
Julia gazed at Kay with suddenly tear-filled eyes. ‘Do you want me to do it? It might be easier. Or Dad.’
Kay shook her head. ‘It should be me.’ She tried to smile, but the corners of her mouth wavered. She gripped her hands together till her knuckles shone white. ‘Ezzie, when Rick and I saw you before, we told you how it came about that you were adopted. I know Rick’s told you more about my mother since then. It’s true—’ her breath hitched ‘—that she was difficult, because of her drinking. And I was a wimp.’
Rick made a noise of protest, but Kay’s brown-eyed gaze remained on Ezz. ‘It’s also true that we didn’t try and find you until after Mum died, but we didn’t comebecauseMum died. She’s been dead for five years.’
Ezz thought back over that conversation, when anger and hurt had made her launch the accusation that they’d only come looking for Ezz once it was convenient. ‘I see.’
Apprehensively, Kay went on. ‘I’d made up my mind never to search for you. We left our names on registers incase you searched for us, but if you didn’t, well that meant you didn’t want to. I’d given up any right to expect it. Dad died. Mum died. Those things didn’t change my mind. But something else has.’
Rick took out a tissue and blew his nose.
Ezz glanced at him, and then back to Kay. ‘What?’
Kay drew in a long, slow breath. ‘Ovarian cancer,’ she said simply. ‘That was the trigger. Once I realised there might not be much time left to wait for you to make the first move I was swamped by the need to see you again. To see for myself who you are and tell you I’ve always loved you … in case you wanted to know.’
Ezz went cold. She stared at the small woman in disbelief. ‘Are you going to die?’ The words seemed to scratch her throat.
Faintly, Kay managed a smile. ‘We’re all going to die. It’s just a question of when. Last time we came—’
Ezz interrupted. ‘But do you know when?’ Then she heard the bluntness of the words and winced.
Kay said calmly. ‘I’m doing OK at the moment. My hair’s grown back. I’m being monitored.’ Her shoulders rose and fell. ‘The only thing I know is that I want to hold you in my arms again.’
Ezz looked at Rick, Julia and Iona, all grave and watchful, and felt as if she’d been asked to undress in a roomful of strangers. Faintly, she said, ‘I’m not Lindy. I haven’t been for forty-four years.’
Kay rose. ‘And I’m not fifteen. Ditto.’ She held out her arms in the wordless, ‘are we hugging?’ gesture. Her expression was hopeful, determined, apprehensive …
Ezz was shocked. Alarmed. Horrified. But ‘there was’ something about Kay standing there, risking rejection. Risking everything for a single hug. Slowly, shaking, Ezzrose. Then somehow a small woman was in her arms, holding on to her fiercely. Someone sniffed loudly, and she thought it must be Rick. It was like hugging Thea, she thought dazedly, stooping to embrace someone smaller. But it wasn’t Thea.
It was someone else who loved her.
Something she hadn’t even known she carried around her heart chipped off and fell away.
She dipped her head and kissed her mother’s hair. And they just stood there, connecting, feeling, and letting everything else in the room fade. Except Rick blowing his nose, loudly.
Driving back to the village later, Ezz hardly knew what she was doing. If there had been a breathalyser test for driving under the influence of emotion, she would have failed it. Luckily, the hedgerow didn’t jump out in front of her and the only other cars she saw in the village were parked, so she made it home in one piece.
Valentina and Thea were lying on the floor, doing a jigsaw with Barnaby, who leapt up when he saw her. ‘Can we go to the beach now? And get a burger? My jigsaw’s got monkeys all over it and you have to match the colours.’
Charmed at the way he shared everything he could bring to mind, Ezz gave him an affectionate hug. ‘There’s no burger bar in Rothach, but I have burgers in the freezer, so we could cook those.’
Thea and Valentina had scrambled up and were gazing at her with matching questions in their eyes. ‘Are you …all right?’ Thea asked. ‘Do you need emergency chocolate or anything?’
Barnaby instantly changed subject. ‘Can I have emergency chocolate too? Please,’ he added, with a glanceat Valentina. ‘Is that as well as burgers? Or instead?’ He paused. ‘Whatisemergency chocolate?’
Thea threw an arm about him. ‘It’s the kind you don’t just want, but youneedto get through the day.’
‘Ooh!’ Barnaby looked delighted. ‘I never knew about it.’
Valentina laughed. ‘I think it’s a women-only thing.’
He glared at her in outrage. ‘That’s sexist.’
So, they all had emergency chocolate, though Valentina cautioned, ‘Don’t expect this all the time, Barnaby. Now, how about you go back and work on your puzzle while we get lunch? Or would you like to help in the kitchen?’
‘Puzzle,’ Barnaby said hastily, getting back down on the floor while his mum and aunts exited to the kitchen, where they could have a conference before they began grilling burgers and shredding lettuce.
