‘Kay couldn’t say it to my face. I was too angry,’ she admitted. She rose and went to the kitchen to fetch Kay’s note, collecting Rick’s business card from her coat pocket on the way back. She gave him both and waited while he read.
When he looked up, his eyes were moist. This time he took her hand while he said quietly, ‘It’s not too late for counselling.’
She rested her cheek on his arm and closed her eyes. ‘I think it probably is. My heart’s too disconnected from them.’ It would have been easy to nestle closer and take comfort from this unusual new friend, who was also part of the family she worked for, a wealthy person, a parent, different from her in almost every regard. But so kind.
With a giant blink, she made herself sit up. ‘I’m sorry, I’m blethering. Are you familiar with “blethering”? You hear it quite a bit in Scotland. It means talking too much and with too little thought and, in this case, talking too much about myself. How’s everything with you?’
A flicker of his eyelids, but he seemed to understand that she wanted a change of subject. ‘Everything with me is much as it was. My children are angelic devils. We’re all enjoying the fresh air and wide-open space of Skye. Astrid and Alvin love Broadford and the tiny market full of hand carvings and woven or knitted things. They don’t seem to notice that every view includes a snowy mountain or the sea, but I suppose they see both in Sweden. The air’s so sweet here, without the traffic of a city, and we have the enormous grounds of Rothach Hall rather than the communal garden attached to my apartment. And I love having so much time to spend with my kids.’ His eyescrinkled at the corners. ‘Mum’s preparing for the arrival of the rest of the family, especially her other grandchildren. My sister Maja’s been on FaceTime. Ronja has two new teeth, Walter has proposed to one of his little female friends, Liam has swum fifty metres.’
Though she would have been hard put to remember which was Walter and which was Liam, she smiled. ‘Children change so fast. My nephew Barnaby will be in bed, but I must talk to Valentina, because she doesn’t know what happened today.’
Immediately, he glanced at his watch. ‘I’d better go.’ But he paused, concern lurking in his eyes. ‘You’ll be OK?’
‘Of course. Thanks for coming and for the lovely Swedish meatballs.’ Sometime this evening, perhaps through having someone to spill her heart to, the worst of the anger had seeped away.
Neither of them had finished their coffee but still he rose and stretched. ‘The children were excited about the Christmas decorations being delivered soon. Alvin thoughtJultomtenwas going to bring them on his sleigh.’
She laughed. ‘More likely a delivery person in a white van.’
At the front door, he paused to pull on his coat and hat before opening the door. A gentle touch to her arm, then he was gone, striding down the frosty path under a dark sky pricked with a million points of starry light. She remembered standing further up Chapel Road only a couple of weeks ago and gazing up at the stars, imagining the constellation Birth Family of which she was part. Her heart hurt with the knowledge that though major stars had become visible today, they had so disappointed her with her birth story of mistakes and fear.
She wondered whether her maternal grandmotherhad ever acknowledged that she’d failed fifteen-year-old Kay. Ezzie might have squirmed at Maxie sitting her down for mother-daughter talks about human appetites and condoms, but they’d been vital, as was the larger conversation about wise choices. Maxie’s counsel had armed Ezzie to deal with life. Her school had provided knowledge of where to go for protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Fifteen-year-old Kay had sounded clueless and, objectively, it was hard to blame her for that.
The sound of Mats scraping the ice from his car came sharp upon the freezing air, and she gave him one last wave before closing the door and preparing to FaceTime Valentina, who she knew would be just as comforting and empathetic as Thea had been.
She did love those sisters of hers.
