My heart stutters. Panic and hope collide in equal measure. “Enzo, don’t— Shit, you don’t have to?—”
“Yes, I do,” he cuts in gently but firmly. “Please let me say this. I’ve been sitting here for hours worried you’d never wake up and I’d never get the chance. So I’m going to say my piece.”
I offer a small smile, encouraging him to continue.
“When we were growing up, I knew I’d be married off to some mafia Don’s daughter. It was the path I was born into. I remember when you told me you were bisexual, I was jealous of you. I never told you that, but I was.
“I was jealous of your freedom. Jealous that you got to go explore who you were and what you wanted. I was jealous of all the men I thought would steal you from me. I remember that the most—feeling like I wish you didn’t need anyone other than me.”
My throat closes.
“I didn’t understand my feelings at the time. I didn’t even really let myself explore those thoughts. I was seventeen when I was first introduced to Ciara, and even though I never loved her, I believed she’d be my wife and that meant something to me.
“And after that blew up, after my parents… I was so young. I was so scared. And I was so grateful to have you and Eva in my life. For years now, I haven’t thought about much more than survival. But I only knew Icouldsurvive because you were by my side.”
I swallow hard. “I…I don’t know what to say. I never knew you felt that way. I never thought that you might. I—I never dared to even dream about it.” A breath slips out of me, half a laugh. “Okay, that’s a damned lie. I’ve dreamt about it plenty. But it always seemed a fool’s dream. Not my reality.”
His hand drifts and his knuckles brush my forearm—testing, careful.
I don’t pull away. I don’t want to. When his fingers slide into mine, it feels like something clicking into place after years of the almost-perfect position.
We stare at our hands like they’re proof this is real.
“Hudson, I don’t know how to do any of this,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry it took Pippa coming along for us to talk about the possibility of us. I’ve been an idiot, but I’m hoping you’ll forgive me for being blind to what was right in front of me. I want to give this a try.”
“Pippa,” I say softly. Not accusatory, probing.
His jaw tightens. “I didn’t think the alliance through enough before inserting myself into their mission. We don’t know these people, not in the way real allies should, and I’m not sure we can really trust them?—”
“Not all alliances result in deceit,” I say, watching him closely.
His chest tightens visibly at the name. I can almost see the memories clawing their way up. “Ciara fucked me up, it’s true,” he admits. “But I wasn’t heart-broken when she left me for Junior. If anything, I was relieved. But then my parents died because of Ciara’s duplicity. Last night, you almost died because of an alliance with people who might not have our best interest—and safety—in mind. It’s too similar. I can’t risk you or Eva. I just can’t, Hudson.”
I press my hand over his, grounding him, rubbing my thumb over his fingers. “Look at me.”
He lifts his eyes to mine, tears barely contained.
“You’re not going to want to hear this, but I need you to listen. Your fatherchoseto go after Donovan and Volkov when the alliance with the Irish was broken. He put himself and his family at risk?—”
Enzo starts to interrupt, but I place my hand to his cheek. He closes his eyes.
“Volkov didn’t kill your parents because of Ciara’s choice. He killed them because he’s a mobster. It was a goddamned territory war, one they all died for and no one even fucking won. It wasn’t your fault.” I rub my thumb across his cheek.
His eyelashes flutter.
“It wasn’t even Ciara’s fault. You were forced into an arrangement as kids. I loved your parents like they were my own. And you know I mean no disrespect, but, Enzo, their lives were always at fucking risk from a rival family or the feds. We are, too. We’recriminals. And I wasn’t at Malin’s estate last night because of your choice, man. Did you force me there?”
“I forced you into that warehouse two weeks ago.”
I chuckle at that, returning my hand to my side. “Yeah, you sure as shit did.”
He returns a slight smile.
“The minute Luna sent me that file, the minute I had Jane’s real name, you think I was going to stay away from her?”
“Probably not,” he agrees.
“Definitely not,” I assert. “I’m sorry I scared you last night.”
