I smile genuinely for the first time in the last sixteen hours.
Eva gets him some ice water. By the time Luna and Doc return, Hudson’s holding court like a bullet to the chest is just another story to brag about.
Typical.
That’s when I know it’s safe to slip out. He’s alive, surrounded, and safe for now. It’s my cue to follow Enzo’s lead and put my walls back up, too.
I can’t afford distraction, either. I need distance. I need armor. I need to remember what happens when I let myself care too much.
Although, it’s probably too late for me to stop, because somehow the people in this room got under my armor. I already feel like they are mine to protect. Even if it’s me they need protection from.
NINETEEN
atlast
Hudson
Friday Morning, Day 23
“Good news,” Doc finally declares, pulling off her gloves. “You’re healing faster than expected. You’ll live to annoy another day.”
Eva laughs and bends to hug me with surprising strength for someone so petite.
Enzo claps my shoulder, firm but careful, though his eyes say the most right now.
One face is now missing.Did I dream seeing her only moments ago?
I scan the room, frown tugging at my lips. “Where’s Pippa?”
Luna, who’s been leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, shrugs. “She had to head to work. So do I. Don’t worry, I’ll cover for you at the office.”
There’s something in her tone. It’s tight, deliberate, like she’s smoothing over a wrinkle she doesn’t want me to notice. Shecrosses the room and drops a quick kiss to my forehead and slips out before I can push.
I glance at Enzo. He’s begun pacing, jaw locked, a storm building behind his eyes. Something has shifted while I was out, it’s fucking heavy in the air now.
Eva lingers a beat longer, fussing with my blanket until Enzo shoots her a look. She sighs and presses a kiss to my temple, like Luna did. Jules mutters something about being tougher than I look. Then everyone disperses one by one, leaving me to decipher whatever Enzo hasn’t said yet.
He moves to the foot of the bed, arms folded. He looks like he wants to punch something but doesn’t trust himself not to break me instead.
I let out a dry laugh. “You can relax. You heard Doc, I’m not dying today.”
Nothing. Not even a twitch.
“Seriously, man. Don’t look so grim. You’ll give yourself wrinkles and then where will your brooding reputation be?” I give him a slow smirk.
Still stone-faced.
I sigh, shift against the pillows. “What? You’re gonna fucking stand there brooding until I guess what’s eating you?” I know Enzo better than I know myself, and I know exactly what is going on here. “Let me guess: You’re blaming yourself for getting us mixed up with our very own Charlie’s Angels and pushing Pippa away?”
“You think I don’t see it?” Enzo asks, voice low. “That you’ll joke your way through the pain, keep us all smiling, so none of us notice how close we came to losing you?”
Well, fuck.
Enzo’s hand grips the rail of my bed. “I was scared, Hudson. In that van, holding you as you bled out, listening to your voicefade, feeling your pulse drop… I realized I couldn’t lose you—not you, Hudson.”
My chest tightens. Surprise cracks through whatever shitty mask I had left. I can’t tell if he means this the way friends care for each other. Or the way I’ve only recently allowed myself to hope for.
Enzo sits beside me, takes a deep breath, and finally looks me straight in the eye. “Hudson, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Most of that time loving you has been as a friend, as my family, but it’s also always been a little bit more, too.”
