I was so tempted to lean in. It would’ve been so easy to just move an inch and connect our mouths together. Before I could get the chance, Vera created space between us and reached out her hand to help me off the couch.
“Go, princesa. You better get to your friends before you have to tell them you won’t be leaving the room tonight. Your bed head is extremely sexy and I can’t resist it for much longer.”
I groaned. She was killing me. But she was right, I needed to go check in with the bride’s, anyway. I’d thought about texting them, but I needed the fresh air that wasn’t in that room surrounded by Vera, so I decided to just go up to their room instead.
As soon as I was about to go to Blair’s room, my phone went off with a message alert:
Blair: Omg! I’m so sorry guys, I lost track of time!! I’m just so tired from the flight! Everyone have a good evening and thank you for coming to Bali! I love you!!!!
Me: Yeah, I bet you’re exhausted
Mackenzie: Ya’ll are nasty!!
Drea: You’re one to talk, wildcat! It was a long flight!!
Daisy: Yeah, we’re exhausted too…
Me: Okay, you all are sick! I’m actually going to bed! I love you all, goodnight!
Fallon: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Cara.
Blair: Love you, babe!
Drea: Love you, doll!
Kaia: Love you, Car!
I plugged my phone into the charger, grimacing at the images I now had of all my “exhausted” friends in their rooms. Good for them, though. I’m glad someone was getting some.
“Are you sleeping?” I asked. It was a little past eight and I’d been tossing and turning for the past thirty minutes, and couldn’t get comfortable. Normally, I wouldn’t have been in bed any earlier than eleven, but the flight, and being so close to Vera for so long, had taken a lot out of me and I was worn out.
“Yes,” she answered dryly.
“I can’t sleep.” I groaned, finally rolling over on my back.
“Come here, princesa.”
I turned to look at her. “What?” I asked.
She sighed rather loudly and looked at me. “Come here.” She removed the blanket from her chest and motioned for me toward her.
She wanted to snuggle? Was she serious? “You’re not serious.”
“I never joke about snuggles, Cara. Now come here, or I’ll come get you.”
I laughed while my cheeks heated. I was tempted to say no, just to see if she was true to her word. That sounded like an exciting idea, but so did laying with her, honestly.
I had to admit, somewhere along the way, she had burrowed her way into my life and I didn’t know if there was a way to get her out. If she asked, I’d tell her she’d grown on me, but in reality, I think a small part of me had always seen something, I just didn’t want to admit it.
That night at her abuela’s, I’d decided to let her have a small win. A kiss was harmless. A kiss meant nothing. I liked her, so what? I liked a lot of things that I had no intentions of having a future with. I could kiss her, and like her, and even cuddle with her, and it didn’t have to mean anything.
There wasn’t going to be a future for us, no matter how many times I let her convince me otherwise. No matter what she said or did. No matter how my body or heart reacted to her. Anything we had ended in Bali. Anything we had wasn’t real.
Wasn’t it, though? I had made the decision to talk with her more that night. To kiss her. To sleep with her. I had made the decision to agree for her to be my date to the wedding. To go tux shopping with her. To go to dinner with her. To kiss her for real.
I had made all of those decisions and none of them were because I didn’t want to. I’d agreed to everything up to this point because I wanted to. How my body reacted to her, I couldn’t control. How I felt about her, however that was, I couldn’t control. I could try and fight it, but all that’s done isleave me miserable. If only things were different. I could’ve seen us together in another life. She would’ve been perfect. So why wasn’t she now?
So far, the only red flag I’d seen was the fact that she wasn’t a femme. I know it was shallow of me to think that way, but I did. I’d always been drawn to feminine women. But at the same time, I couldn’t deny there was clearly something there with Vera. Aside from the physical aspect, she checked every other box.
