I was handling this breakup in a different way from my last one. Fucking and drinking my way out of it wasn’t an option this time.
For one, I didn’t think I could just get over someone like Blair, and for two, I could not even fathom looking at someone else, let alone sleeping with them. She was the only one I wanted and the only thing on my mind.
That was why I kept busy at the bookstore. I knew if I stopped long enough, I would think about her and break down, and I couldn’t do that.
Luckily, on top of running the store, I had the book signing to get ready for, so staying busy wasn’t a problem. Cara sent her assistant, Eloise, over a few times to make sure everything was finalized and ready for next week. One more week until I saw Blair again.
I tried to ask about Cara, but she refused to give me any details. It was strictly business anytime she came into the store or sent an email.
I’d also tried to reach out to Kaia, but all communication methods went unanswered; even the Instagram DM I sent was never seen.
I noticed a shift in Daisy as well. I knew they were friends, so I assumed she’d told her what happened. Daisy didn’t come in as often, and when she did, she hardly smiled at me anymore. I still tried, though, but I hadn’t tried to talk to her until today.
I waved at her when she came in. She gave me a small nod and went to sit down. I rounded the counter and followed after her.
Hey, Daisy,I signed when she looked up at me.
After her and Kaia started talking a lot more, I thought it would be a good idea to start learning sign language. Before I drove her away, Kaia was even helping me. I was still learning, but I knew a few phrases.
She sighed before giving me the most uninterested wave back.
Did I do something to upset you?
No, I just… Kaia told me what happened and it was a pretty crappy thing to do, but it’s not my business.
She was right, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. She was too sweet and I had already ruined things with Kaia, but add being rude to Daisy on top of that…
I know I messed up. I’m trying to make things right. I don’t want to put you in the middle of it.
Thank you for that. I just want to enjoy my book, if that’s okay?
I nodded.Of course, sorry to bother you.
Every time the bell above the door rang, my eyes shot up with hope it was either Cara or Kaia. I wasn't stupid enough to think it could have been… anyone else. My chest ached at even the thought of her. It hurt too much to say her name out loud.
I wanted to call her every day, but after she ignored my calls for a week straight, I took the hint and decided to give her some space. I wanted to go to her house and talk to her directly, but I knew that would make things worse.
I wanted more than anything to make things right between us, but I respected the hell out of her, and she deserved her space. Hopefully we could talk at the book signing and I could make things right.
This time, my smile didn’t fall when I saw who came in.
“Hey, love, what are you doing here?” Penelope walked in holding a bag of takeout by the looks of it. I frowned when she locked the door and turned over the closed sign.
When she came up to the counter she looked warily at me. “I brought lunch. Let’s sit, babe.”
The store had emptied by this point, and I was nervous. “Why did you lock the door?” I said cautiously.
“You look like you haven’t eaten or slept in about a week. Sit down and eat!”
“You’re really taking this parenting thing seriously, and you’re not even pregnant… unless?—”
“No. I’m not pregnant. I’m just worried about you. You’ve been working nonstop since Blair?—”
“Don’t. Talk about her. I’m fine, Pen. I have a store to run. I can’t put that on hold because… because she…” I couldn’t say the words.
“Because she left? You say you’re fine, but you can’t even say her name. Drea, I know it hurts, but working yourself to death won’t bring her back. You need to rest and take time for yourself.” Her tone was soft and not judgmental, but that didn’t stop the pain in my chest.
“I fucked up, Pen. I don’t deserve time for myself.”
