I still planned on trying to make things right, but I didn’t want to use the accident as an excuse for her to stay. I was going to wait until I didn’t need supervision anymore. That way she could walk away guilt-free if she wanted to, which I imagined she would.
“Blair, I can’t thank you enough for being here for me, but don’t you want to see the outside world, maybe go visit Milo, or the Taj Mahal?”
She was sitting in a chair she’d made my housekeeper help her bring up from the living room. She’d tipped her a pretty penny for it, but still.
“I’m sorry for wanting to make sure you’re okay. Next time, say no to my help and come home on your own!” She pouted.
I smiled. She looked so cute like that. “When have I ever said no to you? Wait—” I paused at something she’d said.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“Okay, this is going to sound totally crazy, but did you talk to me when I was unconscious?”
She snorted. “What? Don’t be ridiculous, I…” She groaned. “Fine, yes I did. It’s stupid I know, but why do you ask?”
I shook my head, adjusting myself and wincing at the pain.
“Stop moving!” She jumped up and positioned me again.
I grabbed her hand and she froze. “Blair, stop. I’m fine, okay? None of this is your fault, so please relax. I promise.” I caressed her hand, but she slowly pulled away. I’d pushed too far.
“Why are you asking if I talked to you? Why does that matter?”
I ignored the way she shook off my touch, and continued. “Because you said ‘come home on my own.’ I kept hearing a voice inside my head telling me to come home, but I thought I was dreaming. Maybe I was, I don’t know.”
She looked at me and smiled softly as tears started to pool in her eyes. “You heard me talking to you? What else did you hear?” She seemed embarrassed, like maybe she’d said something she didn’t want me to know.
“That’s all I remember,” I answered honestly.
She nodded and hummed, leaving it alone for now. “How’s your dinner?” she asked, nodding to my almost empty plate of steak and potatoes.
Blair had cooked for me every night since I’d come home from the hospital. I’d tried to insist it wasn’t necessary, but she wouldn’t hear it, and I learned it was best not to argue with her. When it came to her, she would always get her way, whether we were together or not.
I grinned. “Just like the chef, it’s amazing.”
She gave a faint smile. It was odd how I enjoyed the domesticity of the situation. Eating dinner together, watching TV, talking. Although we didn’t dotoo much talking, and never about us. I hadn’t wanted to bring it up if she didn’t.
“Thank you again for everything you’ve done, Blair. I mean it. You didn’t have to do any of this. I’m sure I’ve more than earned my punishment to heal alone.”
“I know,” was all she said.
I didn’t press anymore as I stood up and headed for the bathroom, but she stopped me before I could even get out of the bed. “Where do you think you’re going?”
I groaned. I was an adult, dammit, and I was perfectly capable of moving on my own, sort of. I still had a nasty headache, and it was a little painful to move, but I could do it.
I’d cleaned up with help from the nurses before I left the hospital, but I desperately needed a shower, and I wasn’t stupid enough to ask for help this time. I had a bench in there I could sit on, and I would manage just fine.
“Blair, I’m fine. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll leave the door open so you can see me, okay?”
“You’re joking, right? You may be able to walk fine, but there is no way I’m letting you take a shower on your own. The chances of slipping for a normal person are already high, add your disabled state to those numbers, no thanks.”
She tried to help me up, but I stopped her. “I know you want to help, but this is something I can’t ask you to do. I feel like this crosses a line I know you don’t want?—”
“Drea, stop. It’s just a shower. I’ve seen you naked plenty of times, and I’ll be... I have to know you are safe before I leave.” She said it as if it were that simple. As if it were that simple for us to be vulnerable together and not feel what we had before. As if it were simple to walk away from us, and maybe for her it was.
We had been in every state of undress together, but never when I couldn’t just reach out and hold her. Her words were saying the opposite of her body as she shakily reached for my hand.
I was in no position to argue, so I had to trust her words, even though I knew they were a lie. At the end of the day, she was right, and I didn’t want to risk another accident. I simply nodded and let her help me up.
