I shake my head. “I don’t know.” My jaw clenches. “She said it was my fault.”
“What?”
“I worked too much. I wasn’t romantic enough. I didn’t take her to the places she wanted to go. My job was too dangerous. I spent too much time with my friends. She didn’t like how women looked at me when we were out together.”
“Ronan. I can’t imagine any of those things were true.”
“I don’t know. Maybe they were. But after all of that… I couldn’t stay with her. So I said I was filing for divorce.” I release a heavy sigh. “But the baby. Nate. At least, that’s what I wantedto name him. I still hoped… maybe he was mine. Maybe she was wrong about the dates. I…”
My throat goes thick. “I wanted him. I wanted to be a dad. So I insisted on a paternity test. She owed me that, at least. But she was right. He wasn’t mine.”
“Oh, Ronan.” Angel rests her hand on my thigh. Tears shine in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not telling you so you feel sorry for me. Or as an excuse. It’s just… that’s why I haven’t dated since. It’s why I moved across the country. So I could get away from all of it. And when I saw you and Garrett, and Tess and Haley… my imagination went crazy.”
“You thought I picked him over you.”
“I did. For a little while.” Shame sweeps through me. “I’m sorry. That’s not the man I want to be. Not for you or Haley.”
“Ronan.” She scoots over so she’s right next to me. “I can’t even imagine how that must have been.”
“It’s not an excuse,” I insist. “You’ve been through shit and you didn’t take it out on me.”
“No.” Angel looks down at her hand, small and delicate on my leg. “But that’s not to say I never could. I’m not perfect. Things trigger me, too.”
“Like lying? Not telling you about my past?”
Her gaze meets mine. “Lying isn’t okay. But…”
“I swear, I won’t do it again.” I take her hand. “I fucked up, Angel. And I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that. But maybe you could give me a chance?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want a chance? With me?”
My heart jumps.
Telling her how I really feel leaves me vulnerable. It gives her even more power to hurt me. For years, I’ve kept thingsto myself. I’ve been single Ronan who doesn’t care about relationships and commitment.
But I do.
Deep down, I do.
Which is why I rip my chest open and bare my heart to her.
“Because I care about you. A lot. I know it’s still early, and with Haley involved, you need to take things slow. That’s okay. I’ll go as slow as you want. But I want a chance to prove myself. To prove I’m more than what Gwen said?—”
“Ronan.” Her voice sharpens. “You are not any of the things that stupid woman said. You’re a good man who made a mistake.”
“I won’t—” I stop. “Okay. I will make mistakes again. But I’ll be honest about them. I’ll talk to you if I’m worried about something. I won’t shut you out.”
Angel regards me for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.” She leans closer. “I’ll give you another chance.”
