Staying for the movie was just one more way for me to keep an eye on her, and if I got to have sex when it was all over, then that just made this all the more worth it.
I realized two things at that moment.
One, I was willing to tell myself anything to get into this woman’s pants.
And two…this might not be just about sex.
I came backthe next night, and the night after. It was impossible to stay away. Lying to myself wasn’t even working anymore.
I wanted to be here, needed to be by her side and know she was safe. And it wasn’t because of Austin.
I was falling for her.
Not in love. That was just ridiculous. But I was definitely falling for her charms, coming to the point where spending time with her was just as enjoyable as fucking her.
Not that I could utter a word of that.
Ideas would blossom in her head. Thoughts of weddings and rings would appear in a bubble above her head, along with her favorite songs to dance to at receptions.
No, even admitting that hanging out with her was pretty cool was tantamount to a death sentence. Whatever this was would be over, and my fuck buddy would never speak to me again afterI told her for the four hundredth time that I never wanted to have a relationship.
“Do you think all people feel that happy around Christmas?” she asked, tossing popcorn in her mouth.
“You already know the answer to that.” I snatched some popcorn from her bucket, ignoring the way she scowled at me.
“Not you. Like, actual humans.”
“Since when am I not a human?”
“Since you don’t like Christmas.”
“By your question, that would mean that everyone who didn’t like Christmas wouldn’t be human.”
“But you’re all screwed up in the head.”
“And how do you figure that?”
“Because of what happened with your mom.”
I had completely forgotten that I’d told her about that, mostly because she was so miserable, I just assumed she’d block it out.
“Nice,” I muttered.
“What?”
“So, I’m not human because I watched my mom die when I was a kid?”
“No, but you’re definitely damaged because of it.”
Damaged. What was with all these labels? Why was I being accused of these things when it was pretty damn obvious to anyone around that the only reason I didn’t have relationships was because of my job?
“The topic of my mother is off-limits.”
“Just like the rest of your life,” she said, not even bothering to lower her voice. Nope, the whole thing was just laid out there, like she didn’t have any concern about me walking out the door if she said the wrong thing.
I’d made her too comfortable.
“And that’s my cue to leave.”
