“There’s no need. As I stated, you’re a man with free will. No rules. No one to tell you what you can and can’t do. Who you can and can’t see.”
“But, I want someone telling me that. I want you to tell me that.”
I shook my head.
“I want to leave.”
“I ain’t letting you.”
I avoided eye contact. I couldn’t look at him. The disgust and the pain was too much to bear. The tears were stinging my eyes. They’d fall at any moment. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted out. Flocco had done nothing wrong. I just didn’t understand why it hurt so bad.
“Talk to me, Hyph.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. The sniggers wouldn’t stop. I was laughing to keep from crying.
“That just happened.” I cleared my throat. “Between you and I. The argument. It just happened. And, I haven’t been able to sleep. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the things I said and the things I should’ve said and how sorry I am and how much I needed to apologize and how it feels like hell knowing I might’ve hurt you. Yet you’re– Being a man.”
I shook my head.
“Let me out of the fucking door, Flocco.”
“Nah. You gone stay in this bitch ‘til you drop them tears you’re holding onto. And, then you’re going to put your big girlpanties on and kick my ass or yell at me or tell me you hate me or whatever the fuck you need to do to feel better before you walk about of my door.”
I remained silent, pressing my back against the post that separated his kitchen from his living room. Though I was breathing just fine, I also felt like I was suffocating.
I swiped underneath my eyes again.
And then again.
And then again.
And then again.
I tried pushing the most important question down my throat. It wouldn’t budge. I was repulsed at the idea of releasing it. Still, the words came tumbling out like a bowling ball at the alley, hoping for a strike.
“You fucked her?”
“I thought she’d make me feel better.”
“So you fucked her?” I asked, again, lifting my head.
Finally, I was able to face him. He shook his head.
“My dick wouldn’t stay hard.”
I scoffed, kissing the skin of my teeth.
“Who the fuck do I look like?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t fuck her, Hyph. She sucked my dick. I strapped up. It was a struggle. My shit wouldn’t stay hard. I never even got the condom on. But, she was high by then. I’d been high. She fell asleep on the couch. I feel asleep beside her, still smoking, trying to clear my head.”
“And hoping that by the time you woke up your dick would stay hard long enough to fuck her?”
He nodded.
I chuckled, again.
“That’s enough,” I sighed, “I’m ready to go.”
