“Me?” He seemed skeptical.
Haz nodded. “Both of you. Word on the street is that he’s working for my uncles.”
“That was something you should have led with, my guy,” I chastised.
“I don’t know a lot about the way the mafia works around here. I mean, I basically just found out I’m part of it,” Haz replied.
“You are not part of the mafia,” Kieran barked.
“Affiliated.” Haz amended. “But if you kill Tommy, won’t that trigger some sort of retaliation from my uncles?”
“Choices will be made,” I deadpanned.
Haz made a sound. “Can’t you at least let me learn more about my dad before you go making us their enemy?”
“Who’s more important here?” I wondered. “A bag of bones already in the ground or Pip who’s walking around with a target on his back?”
I mean, the answer was obvious.
The sound of a gun cocking had me glancing up. “Seriously?” I asked, looking at the loaded barrel of Kieran’s pistol. “I wonder, does that holster in your ass ever get sweaty?”
“Did you seriously just refer to Haz’s long-lost father as a bag of bones?” he asked. Didn’t even react at all to me asking about his sweaty crack.
Grimacing, I glanced at Haz. “I’m sorry, half-pint. I’m just on edge because Pip needs to see a doctor, but I gotta make sure the local hood alchemist doesn’t get to him first.” I sighed. “Being a husband is stressful.”
Haz’s mouth dropped wide. “You got married?”
“Practically,” I replied. “Got three kids now too.”
“Oh my god! You met Harold Jr., Hercules, and Spike?”
I nodded. “My sons.”
“Who?” Kieran asked, finally lowering the gun.
“Rett has plants like we do!” Haz informed Kieran. Then to me, he said, “You’re going to be a great plant daddy.”
Obviously.
“Can we get back to the important stuff?” Kieran asked.
“Shh,” Haz shushed him. “So who’s the biggest?”
“Well, Harold Jr. has some height on him. But Hercules is just like his dad,” I said, flexing my arm. “Built.”
Kieran muttered something rude.
“Spike is a little shy. He stabbed me on the way to our place, but he was probably just nervous about the move.”
“You should get them some vitamins,” Haz suggested.
“Oh, for shit’s sake,” Kieran muttered.
“And get them a plant stand so they don’t have to use abarstool.” Haz went on.
“I’m not the one who put Cliff and Hazard on the barstool,” Kieran interjected.
“Well, they were getting fried on the windowsill,” Haz argued.
