So instead she sat there and, when Amy came out of the shower and started to get dressed, parading her beautiful naked body infront of Luisa, Luisa watched and teased, pretending that there was nothing wrong. She wasn't even sure that there was really something wrong, so much as something that she needed to think through. But that message, suddenly it made Luisa have second thoughts about telling Amy about Bel. Because if Amy was seeing Sarah that very same night and wasn't telling Luisa anything about it, then there didn't seem the same obligation for Luisa to tell Amy about Bel either.
This is just what open means, I guess…
When it came for time to Amy to go to work, Luisa climbed out of bed and despite the cool morning air she walked up to Amy naked, wrapped her arms around her, kissed her passionately goodbye, revelled in the feel of Amy's hands against her naked skin. She loved Amy. A couple of messages didn't change that. They just maybe changed the nature of their dynamic a little.
Or maybe just her understanding of the dynamic, and what that could mean over the next few days while they were apart.
***
Luisa liked London, really liked it quite a lot, but why did trying to get anywhere have to be so hard?
She’d decided to use public transport to get to the airport for her flight, a different one this time, somewhere called Gatwick rather than the one she’d arrived at. When she’d asked Naomi in the living room the day before she’d laughingly explained that London had probably five airports that claimed to be London, but while some of those were tenuous at best Gatwick was definitely a proper one.
Luisa had figured that getting the Tube was easiest, but then she realised that the Tube didn’t go to Gatwick so before she knew it she was on a convoluted journey involving changing Tube line to get to Victoria station where she could get a train down to Gatwick. She firmly resolved that when she came back on Sunday she’d get a taxi straight to Amy’s house, it would be expensive but save a lot of time.
Sat on the train down to Gatwick, looking out of the window as it rolled through the suburbs of London, Luisa thought. She needed to think, she really did, because despite Amy’s sometime teasing that was how she processed things, it was how she made good decisions.
Luisa thought about Amy. She’d allowed herself to hope over the last few intense weeks that their relationship was moving a little from open to closed almost by default, the time they spent together so special, them both so in love.
That message from Sarah told Luisa that that had been wishful thinking. She wasn’t mad at Amy, not at all, from what little she knew Luisa understood that Amy’s dynamic with Sarah was complicated and that there was something there that Amy didn’t feel she could walk away from. It was far from ideal, but she understood.
What those messages did though was clarify for Luisa the dynamic between her and Amy, and what their open relationship meant. It sounded stupid, but open meant open. They were both free to see other people if they wished, with no need to disclose anything. Fine, she got that now.
That clarity brought the next few days into sharp focus. When she’d seen that Bel was going to be there in Amalfi it hadtriggered an automatic reaction in her the way it always had, the excitement that came from knowing that this shoot would be more interesting than usual. She always got a thrill anticipating seeing Bel, and Bel had never let her down.
But… Luisa had quickly tempered that, put it to one side. She was with Amy now, and while an infrequent night with Bel in some far flung location had seemed fine before, it somehow felt different when she had Amy. She realised, with a rueful shake of her head, that there is where not having had a serious relationship for nearly eight years left you... no instinct for what to do, having to rely instead on solving these problems as they came up.
With the message from Sarah to Amy that she’d seen and the implications of it, it wasn’t like that changed Luisa’s mind, it wasn’t like she suddenly decided that yes, actually, she’d see if Bel and her could also have some fun. But… it certainly removed the principal reason to say no, to steer clear of Bel, because it was very clear to Luisa as she watched the London suburbs turn to green countryside that her and Amy’s relationship was definitely still an open one.
And with Bel, she'd never once been able to say no so far anyway, whether she had a good reason or not...
Sarah
London
Sarah had changed three times before settling on a black dress that she knew Amy liked, the one that hugged her figure and showed just enough. She’d put on her best lingerie underneath… she knew that the night ending that way was only a strong likelihood, not a certainty, but best to be prepared. Her hair was down, makeup present, not overdone. She wanted to look like herself, just the best version.
The wine bar she’d chosen was one she knew well, a place a few minutes’ walk from her flat with dim lighting and small tables. The sort of place that made the kind of private conversation that they needed to have possible, always busy but never overcrowded.
And, uncharacteristically for Sarah, she’d arrived early, conscious that she wanted to be settled and composed whenAmy walked in rather than arriving flustered. This, she realised, was far from the usual power games she played with colleagues.
A month. It had been a month since another wine bar, that Monday evening in Borough Market when Amy had asked the question that had taken Sarah’s world apart and rebuilt it into something unfamiliar but, she hoped, better, kinder, more sustainable. A month since she’d stood in the rain watching Amy walk away, since she’d sat on Amy’s sofa two nights later and confessed everything, since Amy had said “ok, that’s enough, for now” and Sarah had spent the time in between earning the right to be sat here tonight.
She ordered a glass of wine and checked her phone. A message from Amy, sent fifteen minutes ago:
On my way soon, see you soon x
Sarah smiled. The old Sarah would have still been at home, taking her time, making Amy wait for her. The new Sarah, well, no power games. She typed back:
Already here. Hurry up. I’ve missed you x
Sarah put her phone face down on the table. She needed to be composed for the first part of this evening, the talking part.
She saw Amy before Amy saw her. She came through the door in her work clothes, elegant blue trousers and a white blouse and blazer, hair tied back, and Sarah’s breath caught the way it always did when she saw Amy. There was a confidence to Amy now that hadn’t been there a month ago, something in the way she carried herself… a month since she’d come out to her friends and clearly it was suiting her.
Amy spotted her and smiled, so warm, so genuinely pleased to see Sarah that for just a moment the rest of the world fell away.
“Hey,” Amy said, sliding into the seat opposite.
