“I think you’re right.” With her heart cracking in her chest, Clarissa lifted her teacup and forced herself to walk through the bedchamber doorway. As she closed the door a sob rose from her chest. She battled it down. She would not give in to such weak behavior or give up.
***
The next morning, at far too early an hour for polite visiting, Clarissa lifted a trembling hand and rapped the door knocker at Dalton House. Was she making a mistake in coming here?Surely Jane would talk with her?Or would sheshow me the door now that Francis and I appear to have separated.
The haughty butler did not slam the door in her face. Instead, he invited her inside, took her bonnet and coat and showed her into a small room off the foyer, to wait while he enquired whether her ladyship was available.
He returned within a few minutes and escorted her upstairs to a small sitting room that let in feeble winter sunshinethrough a bank of south-facing windows. A perfect place to spend a dull winter’s day.
The marchioness rose from a small writing table and hurried forward to greet her. “How lovely to see you again so soon,” she said as she leaned forward to kiss Clarissa’s cheek.
Clarissa blinked in surprise. So, she wasn’t going to be cut dead, but welcomed instead. “Thank you for seeing me, without notice.”
“You’re a member of the family now. We don’t stand on ceremony with one another. You are welcome to call at any time, although I don’t guarantee to be home.” She smiled warmly at Clarissa and led her to a sofa standing before the windows.
“Thank you, Lady Dalton.”
Jane sat down and Clarissa followed. “You must call me Jane,” she reminded Clarissa.
“Thank you. Of course.”
Jane looked at her expectantly, her blue eyes intent. “Now, is this a social call or one with a more serious purpose?”
Clarissa swallowed. “I would like your advice about how I can be reconciled with Francis, although he must go to Hampshire and I must stay in London.” Tears prickled the back of her eyes.
“Have you spoken to him since last night?”
“Yes, but we seem to have reached an impasse. He must leave. I must stay.”
“I feel I must ask you whether you see yourself eventually retiring from the stage and taking up the duties of a clergyman’s wife?”
Jane’s voice was filled with gentle enquiry, not condemnation, but still Clarissa’s face heated. “I must confess that before meeting Francis, I never imagined I would ever assume such duties. Now I can see myself doing so at some time in the future.”
“But not in the foreseeable future?” Jane lifted an eyebrow in enquiry.
“Unfortunately, I’m quite ambitious and long to become a successful actress. I believe I’m well on my way. I haven’t told Francis yet, but I’ve been offered a role to perform at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket during its summer season. I don’t wish to lose that opportunity to transfer from burlettas to plays.”
“I can see your difficulty.”
“We need a way for Francis to remain in London and be employed, without becoming embittered because he had to give up the living that your husband has so kindly offered him,” Clarissa said. She couldn’t be the cause of his unhappiness in such a way.
Jane leaned forward and patted Clarissa’s hand. “I think you should leave the living to Jonathan to sort out. However, Francis will still need daily employment to keep him happy. He’s always been an active man, although not engaged in physical work like our brothers serving in the navy and army.”
“Yes, that is what he needs. It is not enough for my income to pay our expenses. Frank must be busy and feel he has worth as a man supporting his wife.”
“I agree completely. I believe we will get on famously, Clarissa.”
“I believe so. But can you assist with any ideas?”
Jane squeezed her hand. “Let me discuss the matter with my sisters and husband. It may take a day or two for us to come up with a plan.”
Slightly disappointed that there wasn’t an immediate solution, Clarissa suppressed a sigh. She didn’t want to be separated from Frank, but she didn’t want to give up her dreams. “I will leave you to finish whatever you were working on. Thank you for seeing me.”
“This may seem unnecessary when it appears you may be separated from Francis for long periods of time, there’s one more thing you must consider. If Francis and Jonathan can work out a way for him to remain in London, and I’m sure they will, it will be important to ensure you don’t become burdened by babies at this early stage of your career. I can help you with that.”
“I couldn’t get rid of a baby or put one in an orphanage!”
“I’m not suggesting that you do. The aim is to prevent their conception.” Jane explained further and Clarissa’s cheeks flamed as she listened intently.
