Surprise and eagerness filled her. “Could I?” she replied and looked at Francis for his opinion.
“That sounds like the perfect solution,” Francis said. To her father he added, “That would indeed make me far more comfortable leaving Clarissa in London. She could, of course, stay here with my older sister or with my other sisters, who operate a school in Harley Street.” Francis’s face had lost some of the lines of concern it had worn most of the evening. “That way, I won’t worry endlessly about you being unprotected,” Francis told her. The look remaining on his face she could only describe as stricken.
“My home is at your disposal, Clarissa. And if you decide to live elsewhere, you are welcome to visit me at any time,” her father added. “And I hope you will.”
Too soon, her father remembered a social commitment at his club and had to leave to fulfil it. All three departed together in a hackney. “Will you call on me tomorrow?” he asked when they arrived at Francis’s lodgings, before her father continued on to his club.
She promised to spend time with him the next day.
The decision about her future seemed perfectly clear. She could not leave London now! Even though that meant parting from Francis.
Her heart ached at the thought of being separated from him. Just when she had found him. She loved him.
But she loved her career also and was desperate for greater success. It was as well she had not revealed the full extent of her feelings for him. Then he might not let her go.
If only there was a solution to this impasse.
And now her father was here in London and she finally had the chance to get to know him. And to meet his family…her family. How could she walk away from that wonderful opportunity?
But how could she be happy without Francis?
She was so torn by her choices.
***
Back at Francis’s rooms after leaving her father, Clarissa warmed her hands in front of the refreshed fire. Francis silently prepared a pot of tea. He had hardly spoken since alighting from the hackney and he hadn’t once looked her in the face.
She placed a hand on his arm, waiting until his eyes met hers. “Frank, we need to talk.”
“Is there anything more we need to talk about? You must stay in London and I must go to Hampshire to take up the living.”
Her stomach sank at his decisive words. He didn’t see a resolution that would keep them together. “When would you need to leave?”
“Immediately, now that ReverendRamsdownhas retired, so there is no suspension of services and pastoral care.”
Her throat clogged with emotion. “Tomorrow?”
“No, but very soon. I’m sure Jonathan will let me know sometime tomorrow. I should have asked him.”
The thought of losing him so soon, chilled her. To occupy her hands, she poured the steeped tea.
“What about us? Nothing is decided between us about our future.”
“As we must part soon, I think it best we return to our marriage of convenience.” His face held a determined but sad look.
“Can we not share one last night together?” She yearned to hold him again and make passionate love again now that their separation was imminent.
Francis blanched. “I would be better if we did not—so there is less disruption when we must part.”
Her heart ached as though it was being crushed in a vise. He couldn’t love her in the same way that she loved him. She had begun to think that he did.
“Why don’t you take your tea into the bedchamber. I will tidy away the tea things and lay out my bedding. I will not disturb you again.”
“But Frank, won’t you join me?”
“It’s better this way.” His face resembled an expressionless mask bought for a public masquerade.
Where had this coldness come from? It was not like Frank to show no compassion.
