“I’m worried about tomorrow,” I said. Not the whole truth, but not a lie either. Iwasterrified of what might happen.
“It’s all gonna be okay,” he said, and wrapped his arms around me, cupping my breasts in his hands and letting the water cascade over us. “I promise.”
Laying my head back to rest on his shoulder, I tilted my lips to his ear. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I. I should have listened.”
We finished showering, and after drying off, we went straight to bed. The sun was barely down, but we both knew we’d be up before dawn and needed the rest. Levi kissed me as we slipped under the covers.
“I love you,” he said, and wrapped an arm around me before pulling me in close.
“I love you too,” I whispered. To my surprise, I slipped right into sleep.
My dreams were chaotic and filled with violence. I had visions of Naphele, rushing off into fights. Clawing and bitingother wolves, charging at men twice her size and still besting them. The taste of blood, and the sound of death all around me.
When I woke early the next morning, it was as though I hadn’t slept at all. I was exhausted and anxious from the dreams. If those actuallyhadbeen visions of the past, then I wasn’t sure I was up to it. As impressive as Naphele was, it made me hesitant. I’d never fought as my wolf before. Could I do all that was needed to survive?
“Ready?” Levi said.
“Yeah. Let’s do this,” I said.
We tried to eat something, but neither of us had much of an appetite. While I stared at my toast, a knock came at the door. Levi opened the door and let Rainier in. I let out a small grunt of surprise at what stood behind him.
The four other alphas were there with a mass of people in tow. The people they’d brought to fight with us. The sight of all those people, ready and willing to help us, filled me with hope. Maybe we could do this. I would do whatever was necessary to help in the fight. As I stared out at all the people who didn’thaveto be here, I realized I was ready to put it all on the line to save my home.
“The Idlewild folks are gathering on the outskirts, as out of sight as they can be,” Rainier explained. “I’ve got the people who aren’t fighting gathering at the school gymnasium, getting ready to go to Hidden Grove.” Rainier gave Levi a worried look. “Are we ready?”
This was it. The moment a war began. A fight that many would not survive. Chills crept up my arms and legs, and I did my best to stifle the fear that threatened to overwhelm me. This all felt surreal.
“We are,” Levi said, then glanced at me. “Head on over to the gym. Once we head into the forest to find the Red Maw, I want you to lead the others to Hidden Grove.”
“Wait…what? No, I’m going with you. I thought that was the plan. I’m fighting alongside you.”
Levi stared at me for several long seconds, then slowly shook his head. “June, no, you can’t. It’s too dangerous. I thought…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I thought you’d have realized that. I can’t risk you being hurt.”
My heart sank. This was my home, and it was in danger. I should be able to fight for it. I opened my mouth to argue, but a flash of my fight with Eugenia came roaring back. I’d beaten her, yes, but had it been skill or luck? If I’d had to fight her ten times, how many would I win? Maybe twice, if I was lucky. This would be against far more dangerous men than her.
I was no coward. I would risk whatever I needed to in order to help the people I cared about. The problem was Levi. What happened if he was hurt or worse because he couldn’t focus on the battle because he was worried about me? I could never live with that guilt. It would ruin me.
Seeing my unease, Levi cleared his throat. “You aren’t trained to fight. It’ll be too dangerous.”
Rainier shuffled his feet uneasily by the door.
The dreams from the night before came flooding back. Naphele leaping into a fight, using both her wolf form and human form to dole out damage. She was what he needed now, and I was not her. I was a liability where she was a strength. The realization was like a knife to the gut, but I couldn’t argue that it was wrong.
85
LEVIATHAN
Istared at June, praying that she would see the logic. Her face was a mask of emotion, almost like she was having an argument with herself. The thought of her getting hurt or being in danger was too much for me. I couldn’t let her go out onto the battlefield. Finally, she looked up at me, a sad weariness in her eyes.
“I should be more like Naphele,” she said, almost whispering the words.
That name again. Why did it seem like every single time it was spoken, it was in a moment like this?
“That’s not true,” I said. “You’re special in your own right. You’re who I want to be with. That’s why I don’t want you going into battle. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. You’ve never fought in your wolf form; you have no training in that aspect. You don’t?—”
“I get it. I understand. You’re right, but it’s just that…” She shrugged, looking forlorn and heartbroken. “I wanted to help.”
