“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” I answer. I don’t look at him, not because of the lie—lying I’m used to. That’s what this persona is, isn’t it?—but I can’t manage a straight face toward someone who’s showing concern for me.
“You don’t seem yourself.”
That catches my attention. My resolve to not look at him is quickly broken as I’m now staring at him as if trying to figure out what I’m having for dinner.
“I’m acting how I always do,” I tell him evenly.
“Maybe when you’re trying to play up your role as a celebrity,” he mumbles.
That tickles a laugh out of me. “Iama celebrity. It’s why Ralph Lauren is having me attend Fashion Week, remember?” I say teasingly.
He pops out a crooked smile that does something to my insides. “You are, but you’re also more than that. You’re lacking the vibrancy you had when you forced me to eat with you.”
“Idid notforce you! Like you could have resisted the mouthwatering smells. No one resists Thai,” I say with mock seriousness.
“I could have.”
“Oh, sure, whatever. Mr. Big Bodyguard, who has the mental fortitude more impervious than Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.” I cross my arms and narrow my eyes at him in challenge.
He just smiles back. That damn crooked smile might be the deadliest thing on earth, but then he says, “There you are.”
Three simple words that make my stomach practically flutter out of my body. It’s a statement that says he sees me in a way others don’t, and it unsettles me.
I’m not used to anyone knowing me this well when we’ve only just met. Ray and Ethel know me, but they’ve known me foryears, and even then, I’m never this forthcoming with my insecurities around them.
“And you’re wrong, you know?” Rowan adds.
“Wrong about what?” I ask, thankful for the distraction.
“About Superman’s so-called impenetrable fortress. For it being called the Fortress of Solitude, everyone seems to know its location and how to access the entrance.”
I chuckle. “Then your mental fortitude must be just as breakable. Maybe the right woman will have you knocking down all your walls and dragging you by the toes,” I say lightly, though the words feel anything but.
It’s a test, mostly for myself. The answer key I need to finally whip myself back into shape. Maybe hearing that he’s straight and is only into women will put all these unsettling emotions in the back of my mind, where it belongs.
Rowan chuckles. It’s low and reverberates inside the underground parking garage. It rings in my ears, lingering like a gentle caress that’s never ending.
I resist the urge to scratch my ear just to prove to myself that I’m not as affected as I think. My self-control is stronger than whatever is brewing in the air between us, and all I’m waiting for is for Rowan to put the final nail in the coffin of uncertainty I’m feeling.
“I guess I do have a soft spot for my loved ones,” he admits quietly.
I nod, because what else can I do? Definitely not wonder if he has a soft spot for me, whichthenleads me to wonder what it’ll be like to be one of Rowan Rangecroft’s loved ones.
He seems cold and unfeeling, but I can see him as the type who loves fiercely. He’s a giant, but that just makes the perfect setting for being a pushover against those he loves.
And I know for a fact that he’s considerate. He’s observant to a fault and not afraid to point out the things he sees, but that just makes him more endearing.
It’s refreshing after spending almost a decade in a world of perfectly curated conversations and designed cheer.
But he’s not yours. He can never be yours.
The rational voice in my head is quieter than usual, but it’s not completely out of commission. It gives me enough sense to check if I’m still smiling naturally, which I never should have doubted myself in the first place. Even before joining MYTHS, I’d already perfected the customer-service smile after years of waiting tables.
My perfect smile cracks with the revelation that Rowan hits me with.
“And I’m good with men or women. I don’t really have a preference,” he says almost bashfully. I’m trying to keep my smile from completely faltering, which means I’m currently tongue-tied.
Seeing my lack of reply, Rowan’s expression darkens just a bit. “Is that going to be a problem?” he asks gravely.
