That’s one of the first things they teach you in media training. No matter what questions they throw at you, regardless of how uncomfortable someone makes you feel—because someonewilleventually make you uncomfortable—you use your smile to shield yourself.
It’s one of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal, and right now, it feels like it’s me and my smile against the world.
“So you finally admit you want me too?” I tease right back.
Linda’s laugh is loud and draws Rowan’s and Ray’s attention. Ray is quick to return to whatever he’s saying, but Rowan’s gaze catches mine through the mirror. He looks at me like he’s assessing the situation. It’s something he probably picked up from his time working in security, sinceit’s something he does often. I wonder what he sees that makes him raise a brow, as if silently asking if I’m okay.
I nod, and he returns to his conversation with Ray. I almost wish I hadn’t nodded, just so I could have his eyes on me for a little while longer.
The instant I realize what I was thinking, I shake my head to dispel those thoughts. Linda admonishes me for the sudden movement and tells me I’m lucky she didn’t burn me with the hair straightener, but I’m not really listening.
I’m still in my head, trying not to feel like I’m topsy-turvy because of a man I am most definitelynotallowed to crush on.
Okay, maybe not a crush, but it’s impossible not to admit that the man is stunning. Intimidating, yes, but even his resting bitch face can’t hide his features. His thick brows in a perpetual frown, intense eyes—which I’m still unsure whether they’re green or blue, either way, they’re magnetizing—a surprisingly straight nose, and ginger scruff that frames perfectly kissable lips.
Not that I’ll be kissing them.
Ever.
I don’t even want to.
I mean, I totally don’t wonder if his mustache and beard will tickle my skin the moment our lips meet, or if kissing him will even be comfortable, considering the man is a giant. I might be tall at six feet, but I’ve never had a partner tower over me before.
“You look like a million bucks, babe. Go get dressed so I can do the finishing touches.”
Linda’s voice startles me again, but this time I have an excuse to jolt out of my seat. I run upstairs to my room and take a few minutes to calm my racing heart and overactive mind.
As I said, I’ve never once thought about kissing my new bodyguard…
Nope.
I squat with my back against the door and my head hanging between my legs. I’m careful not to touch my face and ruin my makeup, or else Linda will have my neck.
Maybe picking a hot, amiable bodyguard wasn’t my brightest idea. Especially since I’m bound to spend a lot of time with him, sometimes alone.
“Milo! We gotta go!”
Ray’s shout almost shakes the walls, but it does its job of springing me into action. I find the suit Ralph Lauren sent over earlier this morning hanging in my closet and carefully get into it.
It’s a double-breasted navy suit jacket paired with a light blue undershirt, a chocolate-brown pencil-striped tie, and charcoal dress pants.
With the adjustments they made to my measurements, the suit molds to my movements without a single crease in sight.
It almost feels like the suit is wearing me instead of the other way around. I’m just the mannequin meant to show off the design.
That’s kind of how my entire life feels right now. I’m the poster boy for one thing or another. America’s darling. Theman everyone wants but can’t have. The one who carries on the idol mantle for MYTHS.
The fans look at me, but they’re not reallyseeingme. They’re seeing the vessel they’re using to place their desires onto.
It’s not the real me. It’s all an illusion. One that I’ve become all too used to hiding behind.
Sometimes it’s hard not to get lost behind the persona I show the world. The one where not a single imperfection can be seen, as proven by Linda fixing my outfit until it looks like the suit is a second layer of skin. Each loose strand of thread is cut, and all pieces of lint are meticulously picked away.
It’s perfect. Just like how I have to be. And perfect means I can’t let something like silly emotions break my mask.
“Are you okay?” Rowan asks as we walk to the car.
Ray is coordinating with Linda regarding next week’s TV appearance while escorting her to her car, leaving me and Rowan walking alone to his Mercedes.
