An hour later, I’m on a flight out of Nashville with only one destination in mind.
Before I’m asked to switch off my phone, I stare at the photo of Brittney, looking deep into her eyes. She knew the truth, and she took it with her to the grave, just like Jeffrey.
I use a rough tissue to wipe the moisture from my eyes.
“Are you okay?” An older woman sitting next to me puts a hand on my arm. The warmth of her palm is soothing as it makes its way through my skin.
I force a smile even though I can’t hide my sadness. “Yes, thank you.”
I turn to look out the window, wishing I could float on the clouds, that they could take me far away from my problems. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find that Lavinia is still alive and happy with Jeffrey and Jenna, and Alex and I have our new, healthy baby.
But this is not a bad dream. It’s real life.
I have lost so much. I feel wrung out. I don’t know whether I can ever recover from all of this. The beautiful future Alex painted for both of us seems out of reach now.
He’ll be in New York with his mother for two more days. If I ever want to return to the ranch without him knowing, now is the time.
I don’t have a key, but I’m hoping May will let me in.
I need to do this. I could end up losing everything, but at least I’ll have answers.
* * *
I getoff the bus just as it starts to get dark. At one of the town stores, I convince someone to rent me a bike for a couple of hours. I could take a taxi, but I don’t want to risk being seen.
By the time I arrive at the ranch, my legs are aching and I’m out of breath. I hide the bike behind a large tree on the grounds and walk the rest of the way to the house. The only vehicle in front of the house is an old pickup truck that used to belong to Alex’s father.
The sky above is beautiful now, streaks of pinks, oranges, and reds. It’s amazing how someone can be surrounded by beauty and barely notice.
If things were different and Marcy accepted me a long time ago, maybe I would be sitting with Alex on the porch every morning, watching the sun rising and setting. Maybe we would be happy.
If there’s ever to be any kind of future between me and Alex, I need to prove he’s innocent.
Staying close to the walls of the main house in case someone is looking out, I make my way to the back until I reach the side that faces the lake.
The glistening water looks peaceful, but I’m not here to admire it. I move on to the cabin, the place where Alex had spent quite a bit of time when we were both grieving for our baby. I’ve never seen inside it, but there must be something in there that brings him peace.
I could run straight to it, but I’m scared that someone might see me from the house.
I lower myself to the ground and wait a bit for it to get darker, losing my courage by the second. I feel like going back to the bike and cycling out of Alex’s life.
Then I remind myself that I’m doing this not only for me, but also for Jenna. If her father was innocent, someone will have to tell her one day.
When I feel it’s dark enough, I go for it, diving straight into the darkness. I glance over my shoulder so often that I trip, but I pick myself up. I’m panting and sweating by the time I get to the cabin.
As I catch my breath, it occurs to me that I haven’t made a plan for getting in. I don’t have the keys, but I think I saw Alex slip them up on the top shelf of the closet once when he thought I wasn’t looking.
The sound of footsteps breaks the surrounding silence and I freeze. My pulse slams against my temples and I push my back against the wall.
I hold my breath and force myself to be still so I can listen better, to determine exactly where the sound is coming from.
From a distance, I think I hear a driving car, but the sound soon fades.
Maybe I’m just imagining it.
I also don’t hear the footsteps anymore. Did I imagine that too?
I’m starting to relax when a rustling noise comes from my right. Before I can force my legs to move, a sudden bright light shines in my face.
