I look at him in shock. “You forgot?”
How can he be so insensitive? It’s only been a few days since Lavinia died. She was someone he knew, someone he shared meals with, the wife of a man who had been his friend.
Alex smacks his forehead. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. There’s just so much going on in my head right now.”
“In mine too.” I look away from him to eat my food. I suddenly wish I were somewhere else instead of here with my husband.
When I’m done eating, I get up and clear the table, turning my back to him.
I feel him watching me.
“I need to pack.” He pushes back his chair. The sound of the legs scraping the floor makes me clench my teeth.
Neglecting the dishes, I follow him to the bedroom and step into the bathroom.
His cosmetic bag is still there. I unzip it, pull out a portion of the ribbon, allowing it to hang over the edge, then I take it with me to the room.
“Don’t forget this.” My voice is casual, but my heart is galloping.
He notices the ribbon, and a line appears between his brows. For a moment, he’s quiet, staring at the bag. Then he blinks one too many times and extends his hand.
“Thanks.” Without missing a beat, he stuffs the ribbon back into the bag, zips it shut, and packs it away.
He saw it. He definitely saw it. And yet, he said nothing.
He knows me so well. He saw my fake smile earlier. But I also know him just as well, and I saw the tension in his face.
Something is going on. I need to figure out what it is because it’s driving me insane. I don’t want to think the worst. I don’t want my mind to go to a dark place, but it’s a battle I’m starting to lose. Sometimes the truth can only be found in dark places.
Unable to breathe, I return to the bathroom. When the door is locked and the water is running, I sit down on the closed toilet with my head in my hands, forcing myself to calm down. I need to think rationally.
Should I go out and ask him about the ribbon? I want to, but something inside me is warning me against doing it.
Finally, I return to the bedroom before he wonders why I’ve been in the bathroom for so long.
We spend the rest of our time together in bed, talking. He tells me about the plans he has for us, and promises me again that he’s going to make my life so much better. I respond the way he expects me to. I feign excitement.
It feels like forever before he finally gets ready to leave. As long as I don’t know what that ribbon is doing in his cosmetic bag, I have no idea how to act around him.
I need him to leave so that I can be alone with my thoughts, to figure out what to do and how to get the answers to the questions racing through my mind.
When the time for him to leave comes around, I start to breathe easier. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me hard on the lips. I kiss him right back, pretending everything is okay, pretending that I’ll miss him.
“Hang in there, my love. It will all be over soon. All this will be worth it, I swear. Stay in the apartment until then. I’ve paid the rent for a couple of months.”
“Thanks.” I look down, but not for long. I force myself to look into his eyes again.
“Are you going back to the ranch now?” I ask.
“No, not immediately. I’m making a stop in New York for a few days. I’ll be meeting my mother there for some business.” He narrows his eyes. “Why are you asking?”
“No reason. I was wondering, that’s all.” I wrap my arms around my body. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport?”
“I’m sure. Stay here and get some rest. Don’t forget that you lost a baby not too long ago.”
“Okay. I promise to rest.”
I’ve been so focused on what was going on inside my mind that I ignored my physical pain. It’s all catching up to me now.
