“That’s because I am.”
“I know it’s hard for you, darling. It’s hard for me too.” He turns me to face him. “I don’t want to leave either, but we have to do this. I have to do this for us. I thought you understood that.”
“I do. I understand.” Even though I haven’t brushed my teeth long enough, I rinse out my mouth and dry my lips with a new towel. Then I hang it up so fast it falls to the floor.
Alex picks it up before I can get to it.
“I need to go out.” I head for the door.
“So early? Where are you going?”
Since I arrived at the apartment, I haven’t stepped out at all. Whatever we needed, Alex went to get it.
“I need to get breakfast. We could enjoy it before you leave.”
“No need. I can make it for us,” he offers. “I told you that as long as I’m here, you will relax.”
“You’ve done enough.” I smile. “And I think it would do me good to get some air.”
“Okay.” Alex watches me leave the bathroom.
I dress fast and rush out the door.
A few blocks away, in the parking lot of a grocery store, I stop the car, but I don’t get out.
I remember now. I remember where I saw the blue polka dot ribbon.
Bile rises into my throat as I reach for my phone and switch it on. I open the web browser and type Brittney’s name in the search bar.
Within seconds, photos of her pop up on the screen. In the first one that appears, she’s wearing a cheerleading uniform. My eyes go straight to her hair and my stomach drops.
Wrapped around her pigtails is the same ribbon I found in Alex’s cosmetic bag.
“No.” I shake my head, trying to get rid of the dark thoughts forming inside my mind.
It takes me thirty minutes to get out of the car and walk into the grocery store. Without looking right or left, and feeling as though I’m walking on air, I head straight to the bakery section, grab a few croissants, and pay quickly.
When I get back to the apartment, I find Alex on the couch. He looks the same way I left him, his hair still messed up from sleep and his eyes confused.
He’s typing something on his phone, but when I enter, he puts it aside.
“Ready for breakfast?” I pull the croissants out of the grocery bag.
He nods in silence and doesn’t say much to me until we sit down to eat.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks, eyeing me suspiciously over his coffee mug.
“The future.” I try hard to keep the tremor from my voice.
“I hope you’re not worried. It will be perfect, you know.”
I try to smile, but it doesn’t feel genuine. He notices the fake smile.
“You’re not okay. What’s going on, Viola?” He reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “You’re not yourself.”
“Nothing.” I slide my hand away from his and pretend I want to reach for my coffee. “I mean, well, so much is going on and... I recently lost a good friend. I think I’m still coming to terms with all of it.”
“Of course. I forgot about that.” He continues to eat.
