“That’s not going to happen. My husband loves me. He’s stayed with me for all these years because he loves me. He wants us to be together. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”
“He told me why he didn’t leave you. He said that you’re too fragile. He was afraid if he left, you might do something to hurt yourself.”
“I don’t believe you.” Betrayal cuts through me to the bone.
She has to be lying. Alex would never say those words to her. Yes, we went through a lot of hard times. Yes, he did his disappearing acts when he was in pain. But in the end, he always came back to us.
“He told me that after you miscarried the first child, you begged him to give you another. But he didn’t want one. You wanted to lock him into your life.”
She places a hand on top of mine, but I snatch it away.
“Viola, if you really love him, you will let him go. He deserves a good life now with someone who can give him everything he needs.”
With that, she stands up and walks out. As soon as the door closes behind her, I kick myself inwardly for not putting her in her place.
She got exactly what she came for—the last word.
Not long after, a car purrs to life outside, the sound of it disappearing into the distance. She’s gone for now.
May enters the room to ask if I need anything. I shake my head. When she goes out, I get back on my feet. It’s time.
I enter the shower without May talking me into it. Under the warm water, I massage my stomach, still trying to get used to the emptiness inside.
Alex and I had a small burial for the baby with no one else in attendance. The idea was to give us some kind of closure, but it didn’t work, not for me.
But Marcy did something to me when she came today. She woke me up. I was sleeping for days, unable to live, but now my eyes are open.
I need to pick up the pieces of my life and learn to live with the pain. I can’t let her win.
Alex comes home around midnight. He finds me waiting for him in the living room.
“Why are you up so late?” he asks. He won’t look straight at me. When he runs a hand through his messy hair, I notice sweat stains in the underarms of his rumpled shirt.
“Is that what you wanted? You wanted me to be sleeping so you don’t have to speak to me?”
He mumbles something under his breath. He’s not drunk, but he has been drinking. I can smell it on him.
“Your mother was here,” I say, cutting to the chase. The truth has to come out into the open. “She said you told her that running off with me was a mistake. Is that true?”
He doesn’t respond, and he still refuses to make eye contact with me.
Marcy was right. Maybe I knew all along, but I was afraid to face the truth.
“Talk to me, Alex.” My heart feels like it’s being crushed by a heavy weight. “Do you want to leave me?”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t need to say it. Since we lost the baby, you’re never here. It’s worse than before. You don’t want to be here at all.”
He sinks heavily onto the couch. “I help my mother with the family businesses. There’s a lot to do right now.”
I struggle to my feet, still feeling the tension below my stomach from the operation. “I’m not stupid, Alex. Your mother said some things that I’d thought but never dared to bring out into the open. You don’t love me anymore.”
“I do. It’s just that… I can’t handle it. I feel that our marriage is doomed. If I have to be honest, we’ve never really been happy except for the few weeks or months you were pregnant.” He rubs his eyes and his shoulders slump forward. “When the babies died, you were so depressed that it was hard to reach you. I guess I never thought my life would be a constant struggle. I always hoped it would get better.”
“What are you telling me?”
I’m not sure why I’m asking the question. He has already answered it. His mother was right. He wants out and that scares me.
