It’s always my fault.
How did I not see this?
My laughter continues for another ten or fifteen seconds, and it’s not even a small chuckle or even a mid-volume giggle. It’s full-blown, clapping seal, grunting walrus-style laughter.
Theo almost looks afraid. Like I’ve gone completely psycho. I’m not convinced I haven’t. Sleep with one eye open, kid. Ya know?
“You cheating on me had nothing to do with me,” I finally manage to say, wiping a tear from my eye. “You cheated on me because you got scared.”
Aside from his hockey career, he’s never been able to commit to anything. Not a pair of shoes, a new phone, and apparently not even a relationship.
His lips thin like he doesn’t need to explain himself.
Maybe this is something we should talk about. Maybe we can salvage this with open communication.
No. Stop it, Violet. He cheated on you with your cousin. And ruined your favorite Little Mermaid pillow. You do NOT fix anything with him.
“You don’t get to live a double life forever, you know.” He’s looking at me like those creepy dolls in horror movies look at the camera. Like there’s more he wants to say, but instead leaves his unspoken words to linger between us.
“Are you threatening me?” I can’t be sure, but I don’t think he would go so far as to break the NDA. Would he really risk his hockey career to ruin everything for me?
“You know whyI can’t tell anyone who I am.” I swallow the lump in my throat and wait for him to make his point. He knew everything that came with dating me.
Or did he only stick around becausehe felt stuck?
“I don’t have time for this. I’m leaving for Milan tomorrow morning.” His chin juts upward like he’s above me. Like I’m just some puck bunny that fawns over famous hockey players.
I tuck my tongue into my cheek, trying not to find amusement in his attempt at having the upper hand.
Psychotic laughter, coming in hot.
I keep it at bay, but don’t break eye contact. My mind is racing with the thought of the upcoming Olympics. Warning bells ringing through my nervous system, screaming, “DANGER! DANGER!”
I forgot about one minor detail. Maybe I can blame the chaos of the concert, or the fact that my boyfriend was fucking my blood relative right in front of my eyes.
Regardless, the reminder is here now, and it’s flashing at the forefront of my skull. I know he is going to Milan, and I know I am too. We both have jobs to do while we’re there, though on very different scales.
One of the biggest days of my life is dangling in front of me on a very thin strand.
“I know you are going to the Olympics.” I fidget with the string on my hoodie, keeping my eyes on his. I need him to think I’m not bothered at all by the arrangements we’ve made for this trip. “But you forget I am too.”
The gears in his head seem to be cranking because I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. I don’t have to say the words out loud for him to understand that it’s going to be a long flight.
Two tickets. Two passengers.
Both seated together for an eight-hour flight.
“And then he just stormed out?” Cassie is stuffing popcorn into her mouth like she’s watching a chick-flick marathon. She’s wearing the perfect outfit for it, with leggings and an oversized Victoria’s Secret shirt. Her dark hair is in braided pigtails that fall over her shoulders, and her makeup is so perfectly done that it looks like she’s not wearing any.
“Pretty much.”
We watch the two guys I hired to throw away my couch as they maneuver it in all different directions to shove it through the front door.
With each thrust, the walls shake, causing the pictures of my past to settle unevenly. Theo and I at his best friend’s wedding. Theo and I with my mom at Christmas. Theo and I standing in front of the Grand Tetons.
“Don’t worry about breaking it,” Cassie yells to the guys as they continue to use force. “The thing needs to be burned. Possibly a seance. Maybe a—”
“Would you shut up?” I punch her in the arm with one hand and use my free hand to wave off the weird looks we’re getting from Tom and Tony? Tim and Tony? Tim and Jim? The wine is making me feel better about my situation, but unfortunately, it’s erasing any possibility of remembering names.
