He closes his eyes, like he’s expecting me to get physical. I’d love to come at him with a fist, but right now I’m just trying to remember how words work. I’ve never really been one for confrontation or violence. I can’t even kill a spider, even though they scare the shit out of me. But the rage bubbling up inside me has me wanting to run him over with my car.
“It just happened.” He shrugs as his hazel eyes meet mine. They’re red, but not from crying. It’s most likely from lack of sleep. “It’s not like it was planned or anything.”
My jaw practically falls open. “You mean to tell me this was an accident?”
He stares at me as if I hit the nail on the head.
“She didn’t slip and fall onto your dick, Theo. It’s not big enough to catch her.”
His blond eyebrows dart upward, and I can’t believe I just said that. It was honestly so badass, even for me, and yet I feel like it wasn’t a big enough burn to portray my feelings right now.
“You’re being ridiculous, Vi.” He rolls his eyes and looks down at his feet like it’ll all go away if he doesn’t make eye contact.
I don’t even know what to say in a moment like this. You read about it in books, and you see it in movies, but living it is a whole other experience. It’s like your brain is trying to think of everything and nothing all at the same time.
My eyes shift toward the end table that sits beside the couch. The picture of Theo and me in front of Broadway when we went to seeMoulin Rouge! The Musical,three years ago, is now face down. As if hiding our faces is the equivalent of pausing our relationship.
Did he do that, or did Leah? Was she too afraid to ride my boyfriend with my eyes burning holes into her?
“It’s not like we’re happy,” are the next words that fall from his mouth.
The shock of what he’s saying has me taking two steps forward, even though I have no actual plan in mind. With my advance, he takes two steps back, scratching at his hip like he needs something to do with his hands.
“Excuse me?” My voice comes out as a croak, and I narrow my eyes at him as if he’s speaking in another language that I can’t quite translate. “We aren’t happy? We just bought a house together, Theo!” My hands dart out and gesture to the room we’re standing in like I’m trying to remind him of the debt we nowshare. “We’re talking about starting a family soon. I wouldn’t be part of those conversations if I didn’t think we were happy.”
My voice is shrill, and I swear only dogs can understand what I’m saying right now.
“And with my cousin?”
Apparently, I wasn’t done squeaking.
“You’re never home!” The volume of his accusation has me freezing in place.
He’s the one who is always practicing at the rink or hanging out with his friends. Though now I’m not sure how many of those friend nights didn’t involve Leah.
His hands finally move from his sides, and he runs them through his dirty blond hair. Hair that, at one point, I thought was one of the sexiest parts of him. He takes care of it, putting in effort with product after product. I thought any man who can take care of hair like that can definitely take care of a woman.
Wrong-o.
He’s staring at me like he’s waiting for me to pick a fight with him. To argue with him that I’m always home, so he can get in another jab and bring up the secrets I keep. I’m not even sure what I can say. He’s going to dismiss everything I throw at him because it’s his only tactic left after getting caught.
Before I know it, I hear myself speak.
“I’m home now.” My voice falls as though it’s a lost battle.
My entire life is changing in a matter of minutes, and I’m not even sure I fully understand the severity of the situation.
He blows air through his teeth as if I’ve now offended him. “You’re home early.”
“So, it’s my fault that you got caught cheating on me?” I laugh, and he starts to say something, but the growing volume of my laughter cuts him off.
It’s my fault he cheated on me.
It’s my fault I caughthim cheating on me.
It was my fault that he didn’t fill up his truck, and it ran out of gas the next morning. Then I had to go pick him up.
It was my fault that we were late for Thanksgiving dinner with his team because I didn’t tell him to get ready.
