The image makes me snicker aloud as he no doubt intended.
I decide to drop the apparently contentious subject of nicknames.Are you up for walking a bit today?
A slight huff resonates through my skull.Walking?I have braved the frozen fields of the Issen. Pushed myself to the brink of starvation. Spent days in the wilderness to the west. Wandered?—
So that’s a yes, then?I cut in.
Of course it is, he snippily replies.Of course I can walk. I am awolf.
A dire one,I amend cheekily, and I feel his shimmer of amusement before he draws away.
Feeling buoyed by my first interaction of the day, I turn my attention to the rest of the group. Kyor has moved to stand with Ruben. As far as I can see, theyseemto be having a perfectly civil conversation, but it’s the remaining males – Benny and Loch – whom I choose to join.
‘Morning, Rose. How are you feeling?’ Benny asks as he sees me approach. ‘We’ve just packed up some rabbit leftovers if you want something to eat?’
I shake my head. Everyone is geared up and ready to move, and I don’t want to delay them. Besides, I’ve been hungry plenty of times before. I can cope with the pangs until lunchtime.
‘I’m fine for now, thank you,’ I say before glancing at Loch. He’s not pacing the way he was before, but rocking back and forth, muttering to himself.
‘The stone’s in the light. Oh, it should be dark, but it is light,light, light.’
He’s back to that rambling voice, and my stomach sinks. My moss earplugs might be doing something to help him, but I fear it’s not enough.
I lean into Benny, trying to hide my concern. ‘How is he?’ I murmur.
‘He’s doing … okay,’ Benny finally says.
We both turn to gaze at the older Islander, who’s doing a great job at pretending like he’s not listening. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe there are too many other things within his range of hearing for him to be interested in our mutterings, including, apparently, sun-kissed rocks.
‘We’re not far from Rowell,’ I start. ‘This is the closest we’re going to get to a main city for the rest of this trip. We might pass a few small villages in Agoyd, but they won’t have the expertise to help Loch. I know how important he is to you.’ Loch is the last of the Eastern Isles Rettlings. If anything happened to him – anything more than what has already left him in this state – Benny would be devastated.
The future duke doesn’t respond at first. Doesn’t want to. Instead, he lifts his arm to rub the back of his neck. I might not have the ability to hear his thoughts the way I do with Fen, but it’s not hard to know what he’s thinking. How he’s weighing up what’s best for him and for Loch.
Silence starts to fill the space between us, and as much as I don’t want to say the words that will mean my best friend has to leave me, I know I have to. ‘Maybe you need to take him home, Ben.’
Instinctively, Benny shakes his head. ‘No … I don’t know. Going to the Eastern Isles means heading to a port and getting on a busy boat. I don’t think he’d cope with that right now. This is a small group. He’s … anchored with us, for now. He was alone in the forest for a long time. It’s just going to take a while for him to adjust. But he’s getting better. I know he is.’
As much as I want to share Benny’s optimism, it’s hard. Yes, Loch’s been on his own for a long time, and I can’t imagine the type of horrors he’s faced, not if the Rottings are anything to go by. But he was already losing his grip on reality well before he disappeared in the trial. He and Seiren were a matched pair – him with his mutterings, and her with her accidentally plunging us all into illusions at a whim. The abandonment may have exacerbated his condition, but it didn’t start it.
‘Okay,’ I say, drawing a breath. ‘But we need to monitor him. If he’s putting anyone at risk, and that includes himself?—’
‘Agreed,’ Benny jumps in. ‘But he won’t. I promise.’
It feels like a promise he can’t keep, but I don’t call him on it.
As we draw our conversation to an end, Kyor stalks over, some bread in his hand. He thrusts it at me. ‘Eat.’
I blink and take the food. ‘What?’
‘I just offered her rabbit,’ Benny says, yet Kyor doesn’t so much as glance at him.
‘Elska says you’re hungry. Eat.’
‘How does Elska know that?’
‘Fen,’ he grunts simply.
He’s cross with me again. I sigh.
