“How did you know that’s who he was?” I ask.
“After watching that video a few more times, I kind of got intothem. Did some research and found out Min’s real name is Choi Jihoon, and without the makeup, he looked like the same Jihoon who came to dinner and was spotted in your neighborhood today.”
Little shocks zing over me. “You didn’t think to text me?”
“I decided you would have told me if you wanted me to know.”
“I didn’t find out until a couple hours ago.”
She laughs but stops when she sees my face. “Oh, you’re serious. Then at dinner…”
“I thought he was Hana’s cousin and no more.”
“Dang.” She pinches her lip. “What happened?”
I spill the whole sordid tale, and Phoebe’s eyes don’t leave my face. A long silence swirls in the wake of my words until she gropes around for my Coke and takes a sip.
“I’m not sure what to say,” she admits. “What’s your plan?”
“You’re looking at it.”
“Eating in a food court forever seems unsustainable.”
“Not much can happen since he’s going back to Korea.”
“Video calls exist. Planes exist.” She sees my expression. “Can we get some perspective? It’s not like he’s gone off to some unknown land while you pine away standing on a boulder overlooking the ocean.”
All those things might exist, but I don’t know if Jihoon wants them. This tentative reconciliation with Phoebe is too new for me to admit this, so instead I say, “He’s an idol in Korea, and I’m a lawyer in Toronto.”
“Poor Ari,” she says, but the tone is kind. “Ari with her whole life mapped out so perfectly. Never having to take a detour. Always knowing where the next stop is. What will you do now that there’s another road to take?”
I swing my foot out to poke her leg. “There’s no other path.”
“Not if you don’t see it.” She gets up. “I’m due to drop this off. Will you be okay?”
I’m busy frowning at the table, so it takes the words a minute to register, but I nod. “I think so.”
“You can call me, Ari. Whenever you want.” She grabs her bag. “I’m going to be here a while.”
“Thanks. Hey, can you keep this to yourself?” I don’t want this story spread to our parents before I’m ready.
“Will do, capitaine.” She gives me a rakish salute.
I watch her go and almost see the thread dragging behind her. This time the ball in my chest feels loose. I feel better, and although there’s more to be said between us, I only have so much brain space, and this Jihoon thing is time sensitive.
What does it mean to be an idol, anyway? It’s an entire world that’s unfamiliar to me. I gather my taco and cream puff remains in their wrappings and toss them into the compost bin with a newfound sense of resolution. I need to do some research to know exactly what I’m dealing with. An uninformed decision is a trash decision, for all of Jihoon’s heart-over-head preaching.
I text Alex to make sure he’s alone because I don’t want to talk to Hana and Jihoon until I get myself sorted out. He lets me into his proxy command center when I arrive, his expression tired but satisfied.
“Here’s where we are,” Alex says, waving me to the cognac-leather Eames lounger as he spins on his executive chair. “It’s looking good.”
“Is there a horde outside my apartment building?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good?” We need to synchronize definitions.
“Sure is, because they’re singing and not rioting.” Alex rolls his neck until his vertebrae pop. “It’s supposed to rain, so that will help thin the crowd overnight.”
