“No. I told them to issue a correction. Kit hyeong is at the office fighting with them now, but I needed to see you to explain.” He takes my hand. “We can figure this out.”
I shake him off. “You made your choice clearly, unequivocally, and on a global platform,” I say. “You let Newlight smear me in front of millions of people, and you stood aside.”
“I can’t openly go against our company like that,” he says, running a rough hand through his lavender hair. “You don’t understand. I’m fighting back, but it has to be done right.”
“It’s not enough to have them say I’m not a sasaeng. The right thing is to tell the truth.” This is embarrassing now, like I’m forcing him into a relationship he doesn’t want.
“I had no choice. Ari, you need to understand what’s at stake. I’ve been with StarLune for over a decade. The members are my family. It’s not only about me but also their lives and the careers they’ve dedicated everything to.”
“I get that.”
“Then you’ll understand that we make our decisions together and always have. It’s our greatest strength. It’s not like I can threaten to leave. I can’t toss StarLune away for—”
He halts, and I fill in the blanks. “For me,” I say.
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not you, Ari. It’s the timing, that’s it. I want you in my life, but for now we can’t be public. Soon, I swear.”
“You said we were worth fighting for.” White lights line the bridge in the distance.
“We are.”
This actually makes me laugh. “I told my work that it was all true, and they put me on leave. They would have anyway, but at least I stood up for us. You wanted to make sure the world knew I was nothing to you.”
“That’s not true.” He takes my hands between his. “It’s that this involves more than us. Stay with me. Please. Give me a chance.”
“Will you put out the truth? Right now? That I’m not a sasaeng and we are dating because I’m more than your cousin’s friend?”
His silence is answer enough. Later is the time to decide how to work through the mix of shame and fury that fills me. Now is the time to get out of here with what’s left of my pride intact.
“I lost myjob,” I tell him. “I lost my reputation. What did you lose?”
“You don’t even like your job.”
“It’s what I chose, and it’s as valid. Your money and fame don’t make you more important. They don’t make your name more precious.” I glare him. “You aren’t even happy with what you do. Or was all that anguish about finding your true artistic self another lie?”
The flash of pain on his face is instantly replaced with anger, and he pins me with a look. “You’re ready to leave no matter what I say.”
“That’s not true.”
“No? I see your bags, Ari, so don’t tell me about giving up when you hit an obstacle.” He doesn’t wait for me to reply. “It’s awful, but no one else is affected if you lose your job. With me, the entire team is impacted.”
“Then it’s a numbers game to you. This way, only I get hurt, and it’s worth it if everyone else is happy.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to say the exact words. The sentiment is clear enough. You chose StarLune.”
“You’re the one making me choose, Ari. Give me some time.”
It takes me a moment to find my breath because I’m livid. “Every time I apply for a job, people who search me online will see this, as if being your stalker is all I have to offer.”
“I told you I didn’t want that to go out.” His usually low voice is rising to match mine.
“Yeah, that’s what yousay, but let’s look at what youdid. You didn’t retract it.”
“We’re working on it.”
“If you’d wanted it done, it would be done. You’d have found a way. I’m going to have to rebuild my life, while your biggest problem will be having Daehyun’s name first on the credits for the song you’re going to write about this.”
