And maybe that’s the idea that scares me, the not knowing of it all. I’ve had so much uncertainty in my life that entertaining any more is mildly terrifying—but maybe it isn’t fair of me to be trying to label this thing after so short of a time. Maybe I should be doing exactly what I told Christine we were doing and actuallyhavea good time.
“You’re right,” I say again. “There’s plenty of time to figure things out.”
She pats my knee. “Plenty of time. Now drink your tea and tell me how on earth this started.”
I can’t help but smile. There’s no way I can tell hereverything, but I wasn’t lying when I said it would be nice to talk to someone about this. Talking about it almost makes me miss Jack a little less.
Almost.
It’s late when I finallyget back to the apartment. Christine and I ended up chatting for another hour after I confessed about Jack and me, and I have to admit, I feel a little better talking it all out with her. It helps that she saw Jack grow up, that she knows more about him than I possibly could at this point, and she did agood job at soothing some of my worries about this thing we’re doing.
I mean, I’ve been able to see myself that Jack isn’t what I thought he was, but it helps to have those suspicions confirmed by someone I trust.
I feel a little silly when I raid his closet for one of his T-shirts after I’ve changed into my pajama bottoms before settling into my bed—but I figure he won’t mind. The shirt is an old Druids tee that looks well-worn and smells like him, and just feeling it against my skin makes me miss him both more and a little less, almost like he’s here in bed with me.
Once I’m tucked in, I note that the game should have ended some time ago, and I quickly google the results, beaming to myself when I see that Jack’s team won. I know how important this was to him, and knowing that they pulled it off—regardless of how ignorant I am of the game—makes me happier than I thought it would.
I pull up our text thread immediately.
Me:I saw you won. Congrats!
It takes Jack a few minutes to reply, but his answer comes through while I’m poring over my textbook. I frown when I notice that at some point, he definitely got into my phone and changed his contact information.
Lover:Thank you. It was a tough one.
Me:I see you’ve been messing with my phone.
Lover:lol finally caught that did you
Lover:I thought you might miss me when I was gone
I bite at my lower lip, wondering if it’s something I want to confess. That Iammissing him. Feeling emboldened by my conversation with Christine, I decide that yes, it definitely is.
Me:maybe I have
Lover:Oh? How much?
Me:Don’t push your luck
Lover:but I love pushing my luck
Me:I missed you a normal amount
Lover:Wow you’re smothering me
Me:I hate you
Lover:liar. You missssss me.
Me:Less now
Lover:Maybe I miss you too
I can’t help the smile that touches my lips, feeling butterflies set off in my stomach.
Me:How much
Lover:Enough that I came back to the room while all the guys went out to talk to you
