In silence, Agatha watched me. “I’ll warn you… it won’t be a clean separation.”
My attention snapped back to her. “What do you mean?”
She spoke in a whisper, brow rippled with empathy. “I see what’s between you two. It’s barbed and messy, but there’s something there.”
I bit at my lip, determined in my avoidance, and shoved the hem of my overly large shirt into my trousers.
Agatha’s look of empathy morphed quickly to one of harried pity. She huffed a breath. “Maybe you’ve deceived yourself, but not me. Not Lachlan either.”
“What does it matter?” I asked, tense and quiet. “He’s a king. And I’m…” I gave an angry laugh. “What am I? An orphan, a murderer. He’s going to be married to a princess who is beautiful and perfectly suited to him. And even if our circumstances were different…” An unbidden memory of Evander, bent and submerged in my tub, flashed through my mind. I rubbed my eye, wishing I could tear the memory out. “Theodore will bring me back from the Mage Seer alive, because it’s his duty to do so. Then I’ll say my goodbyes and be off on my final task.”
Agatha reached for me. “Imogen—”
I strode away, out into the stable yard where Theodore and Lachlan led the first horse. Agatha wanted to mine my emotions likethey were jewels, precious and worth inspecting, but I was happy leaving them buried deep. I’d be damned if I complicated things further. “Are we ready?”
“Almost.” Lachlan strode past to retrieve the horses’ reins.
Out in the bright yard, Theodore didn’t even acknowledge me. He’d slipped deeper into some unyielding, stolid exoskeleton of despondency.
I shifted in discomfort. “Should we eat before we go?” I asked, trying to cut through the unease.
Theodore tested a saddle strap with a tug. “You can eat on the horse.”
I was tempted to meet his rough mood in equal measure. I raised my chin, then stopped. Perhaps… perhaps if I became like water—if I curved around him, wore him down—we might both survive the coming week. “That’s a good plan,” I replied, softly.
Theodore’s jaw feathered. He put his foot in the stirrup and mounted in one graceful movement.
Agatha was at my side. “Be safe.”
I nodded. “See you in a week.”
My mare was pretty and shining black. I stood beside her and tried to mimic Theodore’s easy mount, but I got my boot into the stirrup and froze. “I… I’ve never ridden alone before.”
Lachlan let out a defeated breath. “Fucking Gods, you tell usnow?” He strode toward me and stood close. As he tugged me around the front of my horse he spoke low, so only I could hear. “Be patient with Theo. He’s as scared as you are. Maybe more.”
“Over what? He’s not the one going through the severance.”
His gaze grew dark, sobering. “He’ll have to be the one to tell you. When he’s ready.” Then he stopped me beside Theodore’s horse.
I gave Lachlan a panicked glare. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry.” Lachlan patted Theodore’s knee apologetically. “Theo will give you a lesson.”
“No. No, thank you—” But Lachlan was already forcing my foot into the stirrup, hefting me up into the saddle in front of Theodore. Clumsily, I threw my leg over the pommel and settled into his lap. Both of us went rigid.
Agatha put a hand to her temple and watched us with a grimace. An uncomfortable grin spread over Lachlan’s mouth. He patted the horse’s rump twice and said, “There’s extra wine in the saddlebags.”
With my mare’s reins in Theodore’s hand, he led us out of the stable yard and onto the road that carved through the outermost gardens. Sea mist swirled in over the palace grounds. I sat straight-backed, every muscle tight.
Theodore spoke over my shoulder. “You’re too tense.”
“Seeing as how you are doing your best to maintain some distance from me—” I noted the press of his body against mine. His chest and stomach were solid and hot. My backside filled his entire lap. “—it feels unwise to relax into this position.”
“Is it really that difficult for you to focus on our task rather than our bodies?”
“Excuse me?” I craned to scowl at him over my shoulder. “What are you implying?”
“Nothing,” he said, quickly. “Just focus on the damned horse.”
