“Yes.”
“Oh good.” I tied off the last saddlebag with a jerk. “You certainly seem it.” I hefted the bags toward him, and he snatched one frommy grip. “I hope you don’t plan on being this broody the entire time. I’m already aware you’re regretting your decision to accompany me. There’s no need to make it so painfully clear.”
Theodore rounded on me. His green eyes blazed and pinned me still. “You’ve got me figured out, haven’t you?” He took one step closer, and I couldn’t speak. Some emotion had him by the throat. He took another step toward me. Then he raised a strong hand to my stomach and pressed me back against the wall of the stall. I gave a sharp gasp, overcome by him. “Would you like to know what’s actually bothering me, Imogen?”
I managed the barest nod.
“I don’t regret my decision, but I should.” His fingers curled into my ribs, as if he were trying to grab hold of me. Our bond glowed with delicious, glittering heat. It rolled and pooled heavily in my center. “I called you a gnat, and I detest myself for it.Iam the bug. A moth. And you are the moon. Drawing me,pullingme. But I’ll never be able to reach you without destroying myself. All I can do is pray for the day.” He gave me a pleading look. “Do you understand? I am doing my very best to keep a grip on myself, to keep my distance, but everything you do seems in service of thwarting that goal.”
My heart rioted. I would have felt less shock had he pulled back the skin of his chest and shown me the fearsome, pulsing parts beneath. But this, his touch, his nearness, his outright admission. “This is a jest.”
He was so close, face tipped down toward mine. I could kiss him if I pushed up onto my toes.
His brow creased deeper. “Gods, I wish it were.”
My frustration rose at his tone of displeasure. “You speak of desire like it’s an illness. Like I have infected you with it.” I shoved halfheartedly at his muscled chest, only to curl my fingers into his shirt a breath later. “How dare you blame me. As if I’ve laid a trapfor you, or as if it’s vile to want. I may be the object of your desire, but I am not its source.”
He blinked, mulled over my rebuke, and then fought to straighten himself. His warm hand fell away from my stomach, and I instantly mourned its absence. I released his shirt, but we remained close. Our eyes locked.
There was something between us after all, beneath the discord, the friction. I couldn’t tell if it was simply the bond stoking our attraction, but in that moment, I was desperate toknowit. To chisel away at his stony veneer, uncover, explore. From the way he looked at me, I thought he might want the same thing.
He stepped away from me. “Forgive my lapse.” He turned back toward the horse to attach the second saddlebag. “It won’t happen again.”
The wall at my back was all that held me up. He was so adept at locking himself away. Suddenly, he was unflustered, unmoved by what had just transpired between us.
There came the sound of rustling straw and then Agatha appeared in the aisle. She wore a new wheat-colored dress and carried a basket filled with wrapped packages of food and bottles of wine. “There you are.” Her face fell when she saw me. She eyed Theodore, then looked back to me. “Feeling all right?”
I nodded quickly. “Mmm-hmm.”
Her face hardened at my lie. “Your Majesty,” she said, to Theodore. “Princess Halla is here. She’d like to say goodbye.”
Theodore’s shoulders straightened, but before he could leave the stall, Halla was at Agatha’s side. Her white hair was twisted up tightly and studded with sapphire pins. The pale blue of her gauzy gown was a perfect match to her eyes.
She dipped into a low curtsy, smile sweet. “I wanted to bid you farewell, Your Majesty.”
Theodore was silent, but he stepped forward, took her hand, and placed a quick kiss to it.
Halla’s gaze narrowed with confusion when it landed on me, still standing with my back to the stall wall. “I didn’t realize Lady Nel would be accompanying you to liaison with your war captains.”
Theodore glanced at me, then back at Halla. “Her family lives near one of the bases.”
“How convenient.” Her smile grew strained. She rose onto her toes and placed a lingering kiss on Theodore’s cheek. “I’m eager for your return.”
Theodore only gave a curt nod in response.
After one last glance in my direction, Halla hurried from the stables with her head bent. Guilt swarmed, and then Lachlan was bustling in, carrying bedrolls, and additional packs of provisions. I didn’t miss how his wary stare cut between Theodore and me.
“Help me with these, Imogen,” Agatha said, gesturing to the food packs she held, then to the stall behind her where our second horse waited to be prepared.
She began filling a bag at the horse’s rump. She looked over her shoulder before whispering, “Let him help you.”
I tugged on the belt I wore. The trousers I’d borrowed from Theodore were too big and folded uncomfortably at the waist. The wool felt strange around my hips and thighs. “I don’t know what you mean,” I said, distractedly.
“Listen to me.” She glared, eyes deep with emotion. “You both seem determined to keep your horns locked, but that will only make what lies ahead harder. Let himhelpyou. Let him comfort you and care for you.” She shoved down a rise of emotion. “The Mage Seer and her ritual are dangerous. If you try to go it alone, I fear you won’t come back.”
“Agatha—” I shook my head. “I’ll do my best.” Accepting hiscare would be difficult now that I knew it filled him with such resentment.
My gaze slipped across the aisle to Theodore. He wore a clean but dirt-stained brown shirt, with patched trousers and scuffed boots, claiming it was best to look unassuming in the Varian wildlands. The lack of finery did nothing to diminish him. In fact, I preferred him like this. With his waving hair catching the light, and his threadbare clothes draping over his lean muscles.
